We were shown to our table in the restaurant which was in a nice place in the corner of the room close to a window, not that anything could be seen through the window as it was dark outside. There were already three tables occupied in the room.
Irene was sat facing the window with the wall to her left , George being a gentleman pulled out the chair for her and then did the same for me so that I was the same side of the table with Irene to my left. As I sat down George put his arm around my shoulders and bent down to speak quietly in my right ear.
" I know you're struggling at the moment my dear but this night it for you, it's your evening Katlyn, please try and find away to enjoy it. You came in to our lives and for this short while and have given us something we will never forget, so enjoy, please if you can." and he kissed me on the forehead.
A week on and I'm beginning to think Jan is right, I do need a doctor. I've never been this way before, I've never even felt like crying before let alone all the time, not even when I was kicked out of my home. Every little word has me choked up and tears trying to escape from me. I couldn't even tell him to shut up as I had my lips and eyes clamped shut tight holding back the tears and emotions all trying to bust free. My breathing will only come in short gasps as my chest is so tight. The lump in my throat is now so constant that it's become a permanent fixture forcing each swallow to be a labour. Breathing through my nose is a never ending sniffle. The least little thought has my eyes filling with tears so that I have to clamp them shut tight, and even then the pressure is so great that a few always manage to escape by running down the side of my face. My head feels like it's about to burst yet there is nothing in it. I literally can't stand it. Then when I finally feel that it's safe to open my eyes again I see him coming back around the table to me and once again puts his arm around me and bends down to add further to the torture.
"Katlyn dear, I'm sorry but I just have to say this as well. There isn't a man in this world that wouldn't feel proud at having you sitting opposite to him this evening, and I feel the proudest of them all."
I can do nothing in response but clamp my lips and eyelids tight shut and reinforcing them with the palm of my hand. I heard Jan telling George to stop it and sit down, it didn't really register why, and then Irene handed me a napkin so I felt obliged to wipe my face with it.
"Now you can see why I didn't want you wearing make up," said Jan quietly leaning across the table. Jan always seems to be way ahead of everything.
We had a starter and a main course, both of which I'm sure were very nice. I was trying my best to get in the mood of the night, just for the sake of everyone else and because George has spent a lot of money on making this night just for me. Now I feel that I'm wrecking it with all these stupid emotions. I'm sitting there listening and watching afraid to think or say one word in case it all kicks off again. I can feel it there, balanced on the very edge all the time, waiting for one word or thought just to send it all crashing down in to a blubbering mess of a wreck and so embarrassing everyone present.
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