Deja vu Driving Lesson.

 Good evening,

Today I had another driving lesson. We had a sort of a deja vu moment up on entering the village. As with last week, just as we got to the straight bit of road that leads in to the village we came upon a tractor and trailer, a different one to last week. 

Dorothy, my instructor was funny because as soon as she saw it she asked, "So tell me, what's it going to do this week?" 

If you don't know to what I am referring you need to go back to my entry on the 25th titled 'Hazard Perception & avoidance'.

I played along and told her that he wasn't planning any challenges this week. We both arrived at the junction together which was how I'd planned it last week until he started doing his maneuvers. We were both turning left along the high street. I was thinking that I was probably going to have the challenge of overtaking him once out of the village. However more or less as soon as he got on to the high street he turned off right and disappeared down a side street. 

Then just after a few hundred meters, as we were coming up to the Co-op, I saw to my left a big white van speeding down the drive from the car park behind the shop, his speed concerned me so I took my foot off the accelerator, and it's a good thing I did too because by the time he saw me and came to a stop he had not only cross the pedestrian pavement but was a quarter of the way across my lane. There was still enough room for me to pass so I went around him and carried on my way.

Dorothy, as with last week complimented me by saying afterwards, "I must say that your observations around you and how you react to them are quite impressive. I don't know whether he would have run in to the side of us or not but because of your observations the way you reacted you made sure he didn't. Well done." So once again I carried out the lesson feeling dead chuffed with myself.

Because of what happened with the van and there was no one behind us, Dorothy stopped me at one of the road junctions we came to and pointed out the mistakes both the van driver and the tractor driver from last week made. She said that the van driver was checking the road from too far back from the junction and because we were close to the entrance didn't even see us until he was about to pull out on to the road because basically he was being to lazy to stop and look properly when he got to the entrance. The tractor driver just didn't look both ways. He cleared the lane one way for which he was about to be traveling on but didn't check what was coming the other way, especially as that thing he had on the front was going to encroach on to the other lane as well.

When I come to a junction I have to clear it of pedestrians, cycles, motor cycles and cars etc. coming from the right. Be aware that cycles and motor cycles often travel closer to the edge of the road and can be easily over looked in haste. Also I must check to my left as well, don't assume the lane to be clear as the tractor driver did. Someone could for instance be overtaking a car coming that way in which case the lane could be very blocked. 

Dorothy said that Giveway signs should only be place on slip roads to motorways etc, as they encourage people to be careless, and all other roads junctions should have stop signs in her opinion.

So that was a good lesson for me to learn. I also had a drive around town which went well. No speeding or anything. 

Mothers Day - she's Worth It.

 The mothers day lunch went very well, and thankfully I didn't to do the washing up in order to pay for it, although there wasn't much change out of Uncle kens fertiliser money. I think it was mum's triple ice cream dessert that nearly broke the bank. It's a good thing she's worth it.

This was the first time we had all been out together on such a date since I came back to the farm with them and it was nice for both me and mum, and dad as well of course. I also enjoyed driving them both, it sort of made me feel adult if that makes sense. I can't grow up to quickly though as mum and dad still have lots of catching up to do.

For dinner tonight I just made us all some cheese and crackers seen as how we had not long since finished a good sized lunch. Instead of spending all night sitting with my dad I spent some time sitting on the floor in front of mum and rubbed her feet for her as she likes that. I don't do it for too long though as it's not at all comfortable for me after a while.

Also tonight I got another weird message from Charlotte. Well, I suppose for her messaging standards it wasn't to bad, just strange as all it said was , "Hi."

She sent it around eight but I didn't see it until supper time as my phone was in my room. I wouldn't have relied straight away anyway as I didn't want her spoiling what has been a nice day. I did reply in the end though, just out of politeness. I simply said hello and asked how she was, but as yet haven't had a reply. I'm not going to be losing any sleep over it that's for sure.

Mothers Day - Breakfast.

 At breakfast I presented mum with a card and a present. The card is a first mothers day card, obviously meant to be given from a baby rather than someone my age, but she knew why I chose it and thought it was nice, saying how she will keep it forever to remind her of the day she thought she would never have. Her present was just a simple bird nesting box that she was looking at one time when we were out. She was thrilled with both the present and said that I always surprise her. She didn't even think I was taking any notice when she was looking the nest box over in the garden center.

Breakfast went well, no burnt sausages or anything, although I had to tell mum off, because when she got up to leave the table she started clearing the things away. She stopped and laughed though when I asked dad if he could go to the barn and fetch me a piece of rope. She had remembered what I had said earlier about tying her hands up if she attempted to do anything today.

I got dressed up really nice for church, putting on makeup  and the lovely red dress mum and dad bought me for my adoption party with Irene that night. Even dad commented on how nice I looked and went as far as to say he wished he was coming to church with us just so he could feel proud be with two such beauties.

Because mum is barred from doing anything all day I put my learner plates on her car so that I was able to drive us both to church. She hasn't been in the car with me as a passenger for a while and commented how I had come on so well, adding that it was like being driven by a normal driver - whatever one of those is like!

I held mums hand as we walked down the path and in to church. She said I didn't need to go that far, "Of course I do, you're my mum and I love you."

Afterwards, when we were enjoying tea and biscuits mum was positively glowing with pride as everyone was saying how they liked my dress and how beautiful I looked. As always I got my Victoria sponge cake from Annette and extra biscuits from Moss.

Now we are just waiting for dad to finish getting ready as I am taking them both out to their favourite restaurant where they went the night dad proposed to mum. I already reserved a table and I am paying for everything with the money Uncle ken gave me for spreading the fertiliser for him the other week. I also have some more that dad put in when he opened my account should I need it. I will have to be having a quiet word with them about a pay rise if it all amounts to more than that!

Mothers Day - Tea In Bed.

 This morning is not just mothers day for me and my mum, but the first ever mothers day together, and what an awesome mum she is too.

I got up extra early so as to make two cups of tea and take them up to mum to enjoy in bed. I love to get in bed with mum on a morning, and just spend time chatting and being together without any distractions. This morning though felt even more special.

After drinking the tea we got back down under the covers. I made sure that all we talked about were the  good things that mum had done for me since we met. Ha ha - I'm not only becoming a bossy bitch, but also a manipulating cow!! Anyway, like for instance, I thanked her first of all for making dad come out in the rain that first evening to check up on me after that nasty man in the blue van had a go at me. We both were in agreement that it was the best thing she has ever done. I didn't even get through half the list of things that I had in my head to thank her for before the alarm went off. At this point we usually both get up and get ready to go down to make breakfast together. This morning though I insisted she stayed in bed as I would be seeing to breakfast myself.

"I'm going to be with you all day today so you have no need to lift one single finger, and if you do I am going to be forced to tie your hands behind you back!" I told her in a light hearted manner.

So at this moment she is enjoying her first lie in for as long as she can remember.

A Bossy Bitch.

 That's the stable job over for another week. To be honest this week was actually better than previous weeks. I think because I went expecting the worst and nothing really happened I figure I came out a winner.

Following the advice of Rob I decided to practice my boss skills on the workforce. Okay, don't worry, I'm only joking! I'm not really turning in to a bossy bitch, I was very nice about it yet at the same time assertive - I've been looking up on how to be a boss! I noticed at one point near to the days end, that Elisabeth and Alison where standing around in the yard jabbering away, they were waiting for the horses to come back from a trek so they could untack them and ride them back to the field. I'd thought of this little job several times in the past, but because I didn't like to butt in I've never said anything before today. When the horses come in to the yard on a morning they get tired up and given a net of hay to chew on. So as those two were hanging around and the hay nets were all empty why wait until the morning? So I saw this as a good opportunity to assert my authority as Rob had suggested.

"Are you two doing anything?" I asked them. Of course this was a typical grand farther approach, asking a question I already knew the answer too.

They looked at me like they had never seen me before!

"We're waiting to put the ponies back." They replied.

Some of the girls like to ride them back to the field at the end of the day. So that's what these two were waiting for.

They then tried to walk off.

"Just a minute." They turned to face me.

"Gather up all these empty nets and fill them ready for the morning. You can hang them up on the railing in the stables." I said.

They glanced at each other before saying, "What about the ponies?"

"Don't worry, if they're back before you I'll make sure no one else takes them to the field. If you're quick about it you will be back before them anyway." I reassured them.

So that was it for my first bit of bossing, and they did get the job done before the trek returned anyway.

As for Charlotte, I still can't figure her out at all. I didn't bother waiting for her as I didn't even want to see her, even though I knew I would have to at some point, unless she didn't bother coming today. When our paths did eventually cross I was having my lunch in one of the stables out of the wind, which has been bitter today. She walked in, said hello which I returned, and sat down next to me on the bale of straw. She started talking about some people who she had been out on a trek with. Then there were other bits of chit chat between us. She was completely normal. I'm not sure how I expected her to be but it wasn't like this. 

Then when we were packing away our lunch boxes she said, "Did you message me the other day about coming over to the farm sometime?"

I looked at her face, there was no answer there, just the usual pretty sweetness as per usual.

"Yes, twice actually." I replied, wondering what was coming next.

"I thought you had. I was having my piano lesson and I saw it on my watch about coming over to the farm some time but when I went to look on my phone and reply, after my lesson I couldn't see any new messages from you, so I thought I must have been mistaken. I'm sorry about that."

I'm not sure now what to make of her. Even if the first message did disappear for whatever reason, surely the second one wouldn't disappear as well, and what about that terrible reply? I'm very perplexed by it all. I didn't get to talk anymore as Lyn came in and we had to get back to work. I saw her when I left, she was waiting for her mother to pick her up. Rob was there so she didn't speak much. She did say in a round about way that she would like to come to the farm sometime but I wasn't taking that bait. Then her mother, and I think her brother turned up and that was that. 

I stayed and chattered with Rob for a few minutes and we parted agreeing that she must have been on something the night she sent the message because the person we saw today was not the same one who sent that message.

The only other thing of note was Lyn thanked me for organising the hay nets, she said it would be a great help for tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a special day here, it's mothers day! So I'm going to be busy I reckon.

Chocolates & Flowers.

 I had a bit of spare time this afternoon so I went down to see Rob, he is more or less better now. I have to confess that my motive this time wasn't just concern for Rob, I wanted to talk to someone about Charlotte. I couldn't really bring myself to speak to mum about it. I'm sure she would have understood but I just don't want to trouble her. Also Rob has met Charlotte so has a small idea of what her personality is like.

Like me, Rob's surprised at her sending a message like that, and also how badly written it is and wondered if she had been drinking or something. Although she doesn't seem that sort of person either. He said not to do or say anything about it and to just ignore the message and see how it goes. She maybe regretting it herself, and so wouldn't want to be reminded about it. I also told him that I didn't fancy going to the stables tomorrow, and he said to tell mum that I was unhappy about going just in general, I didn't have to say anything about Charlotte. He said I need to sort something out as I can't keep on going week after week being miserable about it. But then said that personally he thinks I need to go there and own the place. That I shouldn't be intimidated by a bunch of spoilt upper class girls. 

"Your family own the place and everything on it, so that makes you top dog when your mum and dad aren't there, that's what you need to remember. Of course you need to abide by what your parents want and also respect Lyn as the manager, but other than that you're free to make of it what you wish." He said.

A really nice thing happened after I got back from seeing Rob. Me and mum were in the summer house having tea and biscuits when we heard Eric shouting us. So I went to see what he wanted and found him by the back door to the house with Norman. He's only gone and bought me a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates sending him to hospital and for looking after him when he was ill. 

"I didn't know which you would prefer so I got you both." he said as he handed them to me. I thanked him and then made him come to the summer house for tea with me and mum even though he at first declined the offer.

What A Surprise.

 After deciding to invite Charlotte over to dinner one evening I hadn't bothered doing anything about it because I wasn't sure what I would be doing with us being busy doing field work. Anyway on Tuesday mum asked if I'd been in touch, and as I say, I hadn't, so messaged her there and then. I never heard anything back from her but wasn't that bothered because as I say I was busy so didn't really feel like bothering to entertain someone that didn't seem bothered whether she came or not. Then last night at dinner mum asked again and also suggested she come back with me from the stables on Saturday as she was probably a bit shy about turning up by herself or something. So I messaged her after dinner but because I don't have my phone with me when with mum and dad on an evening, I didn't see that she had actually replied until supper time at nine o'clock. Well, after reading her message I sure wish she just never bothered. Usually I would never show a private message that someone sends me, but on this occasion I need to as I couldn't write it myself, it needs to be seen to be believed. Be warned though, there is bad language not to mention bad grammar - and any amount of other things too.

My message to her was, 'Hello Charlotte, I don't know if you got my last message sent the other day but I was wondering if you fancied coming back with me from the stables on Saturday. We can have some dinner and a chat and what have you. Please let me know as mum wants to know what to make for us. Kate'.

Her reply to me is below. Again, these are NOT my words.

"I  am seeking for a friend with for nothing more than someone to fuck me when I need to be fucked babe?? And I also don’t want my parents knowing about this due to the fact that this happened to me before xx Don’t want to rush into relationship and then get heartbroken at the end just want some one. we can fuck each other then we can take it to the next level ?? if you know what I mean by that."

This is from someone I always looked upon as a delicate little flower who wouldn't say boo to a goose. I guess I can see some of what mum saw in me now after she caught me with Dave. It's ironic that those lot at the stables won't have anything to do with Rob because of what he might do to them, and yet there they are making a fuss over someone who appears to be a raving nymphomaniac! 

At this point, you are probably wondering what my reply was. I haven't made one yet as I literarily have no idea how to handle it. I think I'm actually in shock. I can think of nothing else. I wonder from time to time is it's even some kind of a trap! Imagine if I wrote back entertaining the idea and it turned out to be a trick they are playing on me! I know I'm probably over thinking it but I just have no idea what to do. I just need to tell her to clear off, but how will she react? What do I tell mum? Also how I am going to be able to go to the stables when she is there? I know I've brought this on myself by being nice, I guess she has taken my intension's the wrong way.

Another Different Job.

 I've had another different job to do today, that's two new jobs in as many days.

Eric had to take some cattle somewhere this morning and ended up getting delayed, which wouldn't ordinarily have mattered to much. However this morning, at just after eleven this truck load of fertiliser pulled in to the yard and it suddenly became panic stations as there was no one to unload it. The driver wasn't at all impressed, which is understandable. Mum called dad who was at Uncle ken's doing some drilling for him and even if he left straight away it would be an hour before he got back. Then mum only went and asked dad if I could do it and for some bizarre reason thought it was a great idea. Well it was a good idea really and I don't know why I initially got in to such a panic over it, I think mainly because of the truck driver who at the time was well grumpy and would be there watching me.

Anyway mum, along with the help of the driver got me fired up for the idea, he wasn't bothered who took off the load, especially when the alternative was to wait for either dad or Eric to return. So I had to get the telehandler and first of all swap the bale grab for the bag lifting prong things. By now the driver had been well charmed by mum, a cup of tea and a piece of cake so was more amenable and helped with both holding the handles open on the bags and with advice where needed. Although it wasn't always needed as I pretty much knew what to do from watching Eric at spreading time. It was only really the amount of bags I moved at a time that he was helpful with. When we are spreading we only ever carry two bags at once but the driver advised that it would be okay to carry four so that is what I did, figuring he knew more about it than I did as he was dealing with this sort of thing everyday. So I took them all off and put then in the shed where dad told me to.

When finished the driver said it went better than he thought, and that I did a grand job. He even let me sit in his truck for a few minutes. I wanted him to give me a ride as far as the stables from where I would check on Rob then walk back. Unfortunately he wasn't allowed to carry passengers unless they worked for the company, so that was a shame. To be honest i would have loved to drive it!!

Hazard Perception & Avoidance.

 My driving lesson went well today. We are situated at the end of a dead end lane which is about six miles from the village. The lane is just one vehicle wide and twists and turns until about half a mile from the village where it then straightens out and becomes two lanes wide. 

So when out on my driving lesson I was  just coming to the village when up ahead I spotted a tractor, and it's 30 mph through the village anyway so I thought there would be no chance to pass it for a while so I just eased off my speed both for entering the village and also not to catch up the tractor to fast, as there was no point in being right behind it for now. After all I'm the first to complain about people pressurising me from behind.

Then I noticed the tractor stopping and then reversing across the road into a side road. So now it was on my right facing the main road. (We drive on the left here).  I'm not sure why but I got to wondering what he was doing so eased off my speed a bit more even though I was clear to go at this point. It's a good thing I did because then the tractor started to pull out as if to come back in my direction. So in effect, to simplify things he was basically turning round for whatever reason. The thing is, he not only had a machine on the back but also the front so I could see that there was no way he was going to make the turn back on to the main road without encroaching on my lane quite a lot, so I stopped to let him out as I was able to in good time because I had lowered my speed twice already.

I don't think he'd seen me because when he was half way across the road then suddenly stopped. As I'd already stopped in good time there was still room for him to carry on what he was doing so waved him to carry on but for whatever reason he reversed back in to the side road and so I carried on my way.

This was the best bit though, after we got past him my instructor asked, “How did you do that?”

“What?”

“Know that he would pull straight out like that without looking.”

“I don't know, got lucky I guess.” I replied after thinking about it.

“There wasn't much luck involved there, so don't dumb yourself down. You were stopping before he even set off. That was extremely well thought out hazard perception and avoidance. I didn't see it coming and neither would many drivers more experienced than you.” It made me feel good, although I still think I just got lucky. She had a joke with me and said she thought I must be privy to some sort tractor driver code.

I watch this truck driver on Youtube, simply because as he's driving along and chatting about things he is also giving a little commentary on what he sees and how to react to them. Like for instance he will see a school sign and say, “School approaching, being mindful of children and others so easing it back.”

Or maybe, “Junction approaching, mirrors left and right, signal for turning, mindful of car behind.”

I now find myself doing that as I'm driving along and it is making me very aware of things I need to be doing. So I think that is probably what made me aware of the tractor.  Like I had in my head, tractor manoeuvring, unsure why, ease it off a little, prepare to stop and give room. If in time I feel that it has helped with my test I am going to get in touch and thank him.

I will put this link on for those who wish to take a look at what I mean, Chatting with me in a HGV

She is also very pleased with my progress overall and asked if I was taking lessons with someone else as well. I admitted that sometimes I drive mum. Although I'm trying not to go with other people so as not to pick up any bad habits from them, which apparently can easily happen when not with a proper instructor. Mum and dad might not notice or tell me about something I was doing wrong whereas an instructor would, and so then you learn before it becomes a habit. She has said because of my very good progress she is going to put me down for cancelations. This means that if someone has to cancel I can get called up at short notice to sit my test. The only trouble is it most likely won't be in my local area but she seems to think that's okay as I don't know the area around here very well anyway.

Computer & People Problems.

I was actually looking forward to spending the day at the stables for the first time ever after confirming that Charlotte was going to be there but it was short lived as we hardly saw each other all day. As soon as we got there Lynsey separated us, sending Charlotte with the other girls doing treks while I had to help Lynsey all day in the training ring. I basically spend my time setting up jumps and moving things around and just hanging around. So now I’m pretty fed up and thinking that it just isn’t worth bothering anymore as it just ends up driving me nuts every weekend. I did write more than this about the situation but my computer crashed before I got chance to post it and I’m not going to go through all that again. If my mood changes I may do an update later.

Oh Woe Is Me!

 Today I took delivery of the rest of my things from Scotland, which I am pleased about. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to get them. There isn't a great amount of things in quantity but it's all useful stuff, which is why it went to Scotland in the first place. I have much more that I left behind in Coventry but most of that I'm not going to miss, especially as I haven't had it for over a year now anyway.

Also today I got confirmation of my first ever bank account. I'm not sure if that's such a good thing or not but dad said that I need one so he set it up for me. He also put me a bit of money in for good measure.

Tonight I got a message from Charlotte letting me know that she also has her things back that got confiscated the other week. It seems that she is now forgiven. I feel it was a bit harsh really, not that I would say that to her as it's none of my business other than to be there as a friend. She isn't a bad person and what she did wasn't done with any bad intent, she just sort of fell in to it. Anyway she said she will be at the stables tomorrow so I will be seeing her then.

We're all getting to bed a bit earlier tonight as dad has been on the tractor drilling Barley all day and didn't get in until late so I think he is a bit tired. He wants to make the most of the dry weather though. This meant that I didn't get such a nice cuddle this evening – oh woe is me!

I Belong Here.

 Mum has a church meeting thing on a Wednesday afternoon, so if I'm not out helping dad or Eric I have some free time to myself, supposedly to study. However, for me free time usually means playtime for my thoughts. Today has been no exception. So no sooner had I seen mum and her friends Annette and Moss off with a hand wave, I had a brain wave!

She had been so disappointed about what happened yesterday, mainly because I think she was doing it for me to enjoy something nice. It wasn't mum's fault that it went wrong though, It was then that something someone said about yesterday came to mind, and after thinking it through step by step, forcing some steps into place that were out of line, I came up with a super, mega awesome plan. I would make afternoon tea for mum and her friends for when they returned at four.

So I hunted round for the things that I would need. I could make some fancy sandwiches with the crusts cut off, I was a bit lacking in the sweet department though, a bit like me when I was young! I found a tin of fancy biscuits in the pantry that had never been opened so I was going to use them, but then I thought maybe it best to make sure with dad that it would be okay. I found him up the yard messing around with Eric – not literally! They were doing something with some gates. I told them what I had planned, and surprisingly they both really got fired up by my idea.

“There's no point in messing about with a few bits of old cake and biscuits, 'WE' need to do it properly, let me get cleaned up and we'll go and pick up some proper cakes, I have  to go to town anyway for some bits” Said Dad.

I thought to myself, what do you mean by 'WE', this is my idea which I have a copyright on. However I relented as his contribution was going to be far better than anything I could do, especially so when Eric suggested going to Parkers Bakery as they do lovely cakes and such like,

Of course, I soon caught on to their little game, they were thinking there would be another Fat Rascal or something in it for them!

We had a very profitable trip, well, I did. It cost dad another arm and a leg, goodness knows why he finds me such a delight to have around, he'd be able to retire by now if it wasn't for me. Anyway, apart from the loads of cakes, on dad's suggestion, we got half a dozen scones along with clotted cream to go with some of mum's jam. I was pleased about that, and so decided when the time came I would be inviting dad and Eric to join us seen as they helped make the occasion.

It was three o'clock by the time we got back so I had to get cracking. I decided that we would be having it in the summerhouse because even though it was a lovely sunny day, it can turn chilly later in the afternoon. This meant I needed to do a bit of a clean, it wasn't bad as we use it from time to time, it's not like it's been sitting empty all winter and is damp or anything. I just had to wipe things down a bit and put a cloth on the table. I also found some miniature Daffodils which I put in a small vase on the table. Dad said not to bother with sandwiches but I had the things I needed ready so I did some, Cucumber and some soft cheese. I got everything set out on plates and took them to the summerhouse and laid them on the table. I then got the tea things ready and boiled the kettle so it would be quicker to boil when they got back. Then after a quick check round to make sure everything was the best I could make it, I waited in the yard as I didn't want Moss to just drop mum off and then drive away, what a disaster that would be! While I was waiting, I called dad and told him and Eric to get round to the garden.

Moss is a bit of a DIY man so I made out there was something I needed advice on in the summerhouse. Of course mum hadn't a clue what I was going on about, but I just told her that I had been in there this afternoon studying and noticed how the table had got some stuff all over the top of it and wondered what it was! Of course they couldn't get round there quick enough after that.

Mum got a bit worried when she spotted dad and Eric there, but then when she saw the 'stuff' all over the table top she didn't scream, but it was more than a whimper. She held her hands to her face while looking to dad for the answer that she really already knew. Dad looked at me so mum turned to me then, still with her hands to her face. She had tears in her eyes, I love making her cry! She didn't get chance to do anything else though as Annette then says, “Oh what a truly wonderful girl you are Kate, this is so lovely.” 

She too had tears in her eyes, it was wonderful. Especially for mum having her friends say such things in front of and to her.

“Jan dear, you are so blessed to having such a beautiful daughter.” She added.

Thankfully Moss saved me from drowning by suggesting they go and take care of the 'stuff' on the table top. I went and made the tea, jumping for joy and punching the air at my own success once I was out of sight. Grandfather used to say that self praise is no recommendation but I allowed myself some today.  I made the tea took it to them, dad and Eric got theirs in mugs, they aren't really in to fine china. I then joined in the fun and chatter.

At the end mum made to help me clear up but I sent her packing, it's not much of a treat if you end up having to clear up all the mess is it.

Mum has been all over me ever since and every so often she has tears in her eyes, she doesn't say anything but I can clearly see them. Dad isn't much better, keeps on giving me random hugs for no good reason other than I just happen to be standing near him. I was happy, everyone was happy. 

At one point, while still at the summerhouse, Eric announced, “Betty's thought they were the best until our Kate showed them how to do it!” 

I thought that was nice, especially the 'our Kate' bit. I'm really starting to feel like I'm part of the place now, like I really belong here, and not just some waif and stray who just happened washed up here one day looking for a home.

Super, Mega Awesome.

 Mum is away at a church meeting this afternoon so I have been planning something super mega awesome with the view to making her weep!!

The Flying Pencils Affair.

 Today I had some free time after I had moved some bales of straw round to the yard for Eric. So mum and I decided to take a trip to Harrogate which I was pleased about because it meant we got to spend some quality time together. I've become aware that of late, mainly because of my own situation and taking on learning new things, that we haven't been spending so much time together. I realise that life has to go on and I can't spend the rest of my life swanning around with mum or riding the tractor with dad, but I do miss a little those special times I used to have when I first came here. I must try to deflect those ruts.

I was amused when setting off because we only got as far as the stables and mum pulled up on the lane. I thought at first she was going in to see Lyn or something. I've been calling her Lynsey but I was informed the other day that she prefers Lyn. I made a few mistakes the other day it would seem. Anyway we just sat parked there on the lane.

I looked over at mum, “What's the matter?” I asked.

“I thought you'd be wanting to go and check on your boy friend!” said mum with a grin on her face.

This is the second time in a week that I've been reminded how predictable I've become. This amused me, it also made me feel like I'm no longer the stranger girl. I was going to ask on the way back but as she had stopped I decided I may as well go now.

I knocked on the door and stood well back and soon he opened it. He said he was still feeling unwell, and he certainly didn't look good.

“Are you keeping warm?” I asked.

“I have the house warm but I keep having the chills and then the sweats.” He said in reply.

I suggested that he needs to get in bed, not that I'm an expert or anything. I was basically just saying what I like to do when I'm like that. I asked if he needed us to get him anything while we were out but he said he was okay for everything so I left it at that and went back to the car.

When we got to Harrogate we had a little walk round the shops. The main reason for going though was that mum wanted me to have afternoon tea at Betty's. It's a super posh tearooms with a big reputation for excellence. They also have their own bakery so the cakes are supposed to be especially good. It's the sort of place where you have to wait to be seated. Thankfully there wasn't a queue, which apparently there can be at certain times.

There was no doubt the place is nice, the food I enjoyed, the staff were pleasant, I could even have overlooked the flying pencils but the sheer rudeness of the people in charge of the children who launched the flying pencils, over shadowed everything for me and mum.

We had just been served when these two snotty women and two equally snotty children were placed at the table next to us, which was fine, we don't own the place. I'm not sure where the children got them from as I wasn't really paying any attention to them, but from somewhere appeared some colouring books and a box of coloured pencils. However they didn't have the pencils for long because before you knew it we had them all. I had my back to them so the first I knew about it was when all these pencils came raining down on our table. It frightened me to death at first. Mum told me afterwards that the boy, who was sitting directly behind me, because of some dispute with one of the women had picked up the box  and flung the whole lot backwards over his head.

That wasn't the worse bit though. One of the women got up and without a word just started collecting all the pencils that were lying all over our table, some even on our food. Mum is always calm, and even when you make a mistake she tries to be nice about it, but she sat there giving the woman the death eye. I could see a 'Young Madam' moment quickly approaching. When she was finished the woman glanced at mum and it was then that she noticed the way mum was looking at her.

“What is the matter with you?” The woman said to mum in her stupid posh voice, all arrogant like.

What's the matter with me? Well young madam, an apology wouldn't go amiss to start with!” replied mum.

I just sat there like a stuffed dummy unsure whether I should unleash the Coventry girl or not. But then mum seemed to have the situation under control so I just watched as the woman shrugged her shoulders and said, “Children will be children.” That was it, she walked back to the table and sat down. 

I could see mum wasn't happy. We finished our sandwiches and then made a motion for the waiter who came over. “Can you pack the rest of our meal in to something as we're going to find somewhere more pleasant to enjoy it.”

He tried to find out what was wrong but mum just told him again that she wanted to take the rest of the meal with us. She then walked off to the toilets leaving me to face the music. She did apologise to me afterwards, she just needed to get away before she said something she might regret later. 

I explained to the waiter what happened and I didn't care if the women did hear me. If they did they must have known better than to get involved. The waiter went away and then next minute a woman came. She reminded me of Miss Oliver in her mannerisms. I think she was a manager or something because she was apologising and offering to move us to another table. I was sure mum wouldn't want that so I just told her no, and that we just wanted the food we paid for.

I just waited there until mum returned and then got up and went and waited for our food. It shortly appeared, delivered by the manager lady along with more apologies, this time directed at mum. Mum still wasn't happy and just took the box and walked out without a word. I thanked the manager woman because I was feeling a bit sorry for her as it wasn't her fault and she was trying to sort the situation out. Again she said she was sorry for the upset and added that she had put a few extras in our box for us. So I thought that was nice.

She had actually put a lot of extras in the box, so dad got to sample some of Betty's cakes as well. He got the best deal as he didn't even have to suffer the experience we did to get our cakes. When I saw what there was I asked if I could drop off a few for Rob as we passed. Mum just said I could give him the whole box full for all she cared, saying that she wasn't going to be touching any of them. She did though when I put them on a plate and placed them on the dinner table after dinner. I've saved Eric one which is called 'The Fat Rascal' to have with his lunch today. Not that I'm hinting at anything by doing so!!

She Didn't Realise.

 When at the stables last Saturday I was half expecting to be called over at some point for another vanilla slice with Rob, however nothing was forth coming. So Charlotte and went and sat on the hay bales in the barn to eat our sandwiches. As we were alone and little chance of being disturbed, also a comfortable amount of time had passed since my earlier childish behaviour, I asked Charlotte straight out why she didn't come last weekend. She hesitated a little, I feel from embarrassment at what she was to tell me.

“I did something at the photo club that mum didn't like so she took all my camera's off me and grounded me.”

She has a keen interest in photography and got a real fancy camera for Christmas so joined the local photographic society which was okay. But then more recently they persuaded her to do some live modelling for them and this is what got her busted. From what she said, it wasn't so much the modelling that her mother objected to but the fact that she didn't tell them, therefore they haven't been able to put any safeguards in to place as to what pictures can be taken and what becomes of them afterwards. So they took her new camera, phone and Gopro from her as well as grounding her. Charlotte hadn't realised until this point that I didn't know. It wasn't until I said that I had been worried about her, that she told me that apparently her mother called the stables to say that she wouldn't be attending but it seems Lyndsey didn't consider that I might have an interest in knowing. I tried to think of something I could do for Charlotte but couldn't think of anything substantial. I don't have the best record when it comes to pacifying parents! So I'm perhaps best keeping out of it for Charlottes sake. I'd hate her to have to spend time beyond the outer edge.

On leaving the stables I became quite concerned that I hadn't seen any signs of Rob all day, and what's more he was nowhere to be seen as I left the yard with Charlotte. We waited together on the road for her mother to arrive to collect her so there was plenty of time for Rob to put in an appearance but he didn't. So thinking of Norman and his problem I thought it best to go and check on Rob before returning home. I knocked on the door and waited, and knocked again before he finally opened the door to me. It turns out that he has the flu and didn't bother to come out and see me as he was afraid of passing it on so was staying indoors and resting. He thanked me for my concern but insisted he would be fine in a day or two. I didn't force the issue as I didn't really want to risk catching the flu. I felt really bad for thinking in this selfish manner as I walked back down the lane to the farm.

So that was my Saturday. Today I have had my second driving lesson, which went okay except I got in to trouble with my instructor for speeding.

“What speed are we supposed to be doing?” she asked at one point.

Well I knew the speed was thirty so told her this even though I knew what she was going to say.

“So why are you doing forty then?”

“Because I have a car right up my backside!” I replied.

“You need to watch, but ignore it them. Don't be intimidated by them. They won't pay your fine or take your points if you get caught speeding. Also wouldn't you consider it to be prudent to slow down rather than speed up if someone is that close to you? Never accelerate in to trouble.” She instructed me. Apart from that I was okay. My swatting up on roundabouts paid off as well, I coped with them more confidentially this week.

Instant Regret.

 Sometimes, and even though my attitude is far more natural now than it was, on waking up, particularly if something has been gnawing away at my mind I can feel my old ways are still there somewhere within. Even so they have now been subdued for long enough to not really be a problem unless triggered somehow, like for instance the time mum persisted on calling for a doctor. I instantly know I've done wrong and just as instantly regret it.

On Saturday's I eat breakfast alone as I have to be at the stables for nine. Mum is usually in the kitchen with me preparing breakfast for dad when he comes in, but I'm usually gone by then so don't see him until the evening.

On arriving at the stables I looked for Rob but his smiling face wasn't there, and I had no reason really to expect it to be. But because of my mood I stupidly found myself disappointed that it wasn't. Lyndsey, the girl who runs the stables, is always the first there, and had been long enough to get one of the horse in to a stable. I arrived just after two other girls so because I was alone I got set the task of getting a hay net for the horse she had in the stable and then giving it a brush down.

At least she had given me something to do and I wasn't just left hanging around like a spare part which is usually what happens. When I was working on the horse I suddenly became aware of someone standing in the doorway. So I turned round to see Charlotte standing there with a smile on her face. Now this is when the stupid, ugly embarrassing side of me erupts through the surface totally uncontrolled by my now more normal self. I simply  returned the hello that she had given to me and then carried on working, deliberately ignoring my friend to cause her as much pain as I could - just like my grandfather. It sickens me that I have that part of the family inside of me.

After a minute or so of her hanging around in the doorway and me totally ignoring her existence she said, "I'll go and find Lyndsey then shall I?"

"It's up to you, can if you want." I replied with a shrug of my shoulders.

Then she was gone leaving me instantly feeling like the fool that I am. The strange thing is that once it's happened it's completely gone, all the malice and evilness have gone, firmly put back from where they came, leaving me feeling utterly regretful for what I just did. What did I really expect from the poor girl? I suppose an explanation would have been nice, but I could have got that just by being nice to her. I don't know why I have to react this way.

Thankfully I at least know how to dig myself out of the hole I just got myself in to. I just dropped the brush on the floor and chased after her. She was halfway across the yard by now but stopped and turned towards me as I shouted her name. As I got to her I reached for her hand and held it while I apologized, "I'm so sorry Chalotte, I shouldn't have done that to you, please forgive me."

As she didn't pull away at all and seemed happy for me to hold her hand I then brought her closer and gave her a little hug which she didn't reject at all.

"It's okay, I get a bit moody myself sometimes." she said in a very quiet voice. She is just like a delicate little flower. So gentle and sweet.

We had to leave off then as the others were returning, so I took her hand again and said for her to come and help me. We are best mates again after that which is far more than I deserve.

The Solution.

 I managed to get finished with the fertiliser job over at uncle Kens this afternoon. Before mum and dad came over I had managed to get everything washed down. This is very important as fertiliser is very corrosive. As well as the outside I also cleaned inside my tractor, As I seem to be the one using that tractor the most these days I feel that it will give a good impression of my intentions for any future usage.

At lunch time uncle Ken tried to give a hundred pounds for the work I did. Of course I wasn't going to take it but he argued that it he had to get a contractor in it would have cost him a lot more than that. But then I had an idea, this money could be the solution to something I've been pondering about for a couple of weeks now.

"Well okay, if you insist, but only on the condition that it's kept between me and you." I said upon changing my mind.

He was only to happy to agree, and that would have been that but then I thought seen as he has been so kind I would let him in on the secret. It turned out to be a good thing too as he offered help with something that hadn't occurred to me with it being a spur of the moment idea. So now I have a plan and something I'm going to really enjoy implementing and hopefully participating in.

Fertilising For Uncle Ken.

 Today I have been spreading fertiliser for uncle Ken all day, it's been really cool, like doing a proper job, if that makes sense. Dad thought it best if I take our tractor and spreader over there rather than used uncle Ken's because for one thing I know how to go on with it, also he says that uncles Ken's machinery isn't always very well maintained. He didn't want something breaking because he thought I would take it to much to heart. Which knowing me I probably would. Anyway I was pleased because like dad says I know what I'm doing with our tractor. I'm pleased to say that everything went well. Some of the things that Eric showed me yesterday to do with the computer was also helpful in helping me keep track of how much ground I was covering and such like. dad took the tractor over there for me this morning and me and mum went over in the truck so as to fetch dad back. I left the tractor there for the night and uncle Ken brought me back home at around five. He said I could stay with them if I wanted but I'm sure I would have missed mum and dad to much. When I got home the first thing mum said was that she missed me and that the place just isn't the same without me there, and gave me a big hug. That made me feel nice so nice inside, but I think it will also make me miss them even more tomorrow when I am away. I feel so lucky having people miss me so much.

First Driving Lesson.

 My first driving lesson seemed to go alright. I've only been driving a car down the lane to Norman's so it was quite different when I was taken on to the main roads. A lot more things that I need to be aware of. I think the roundabouts were the worst. Getting in to the right lane on approach, then figuring out when to go and then where to be on the roundabout itself. Anyway the instructor seemed to think it wouldn't take me long to be ready to put in for my test and said I needed to get my theory test passed as soon as possible.

This afternoon I brought some bales round to the yard again and then I asked dad if I could have a play with the tractor that I've been using. It's all well and good knowing how to drive it but i need to know how to work it as well. So I've found some information on the controls and what they do so wanted to familiarize myself with them. Dad was happy for me to do this, and so I spent some time checking things out. Eric came to me after a while and seemed keen to help me with things. He even taught me a most of the stuff on the computer as well which was very helpful as the info I had was a bit confusing.

The Joy Of House Cleaning.

 This afternoon I had to take all my school work down to Mrs Manton so that we could go through it to see what I needed to do to finish off everything. She seems very pleased with my situation.

I've also got some driving lessons sorted out. Dad has been trying to secure some for me but as with everything  else there is a waiting list for places. Anyway he was saying about it to Eric and it turns out that he knows this woman who is willing to take me on. The only thing is she isn't officially registered or affiliated with a driving school anymore. She just takes on a few people for a bit of pocket money. Eric says she is very good so because there is nothing else at the moment dad says we will give her a try. So I have my first lesson at ten o'clock tomorrow morning.

This morning after breakfast me and mum did the usual Monday house cleaning. She said at one point how she actually looks forward to cleaning house now that I'm there for company and to help, so I thought that was  a nice thing to say.

References.

 Last night I came clean about the letter that I received foam the invisible man.

As those that have been following me for a while will know, dad and I like to snuggle up on the sofa after tea and either watch TV or listen to some music. At the same time mum will sit in her armchair doing some craft work or maybe a jigsaw puzzle. However last night, before she got settled in I asked her to come and sit with me and dad on the sofa as I had something to tell them both. I could tell they were a bit concerned as to what I was about to say that was so serious, so I didn't draw the matter out and brought out the letter that I had received. I told them how I'd come by it, and who it was from, before reading it out loud to them. On finishing mum asked straight away what was I going to do! I looked at her, "Mum, what do you think I'm going to do?"

Remembering someone's advice I added, "I'm going to rip it up and throw it on the fire!"

Then dad being way ahead of the game said, "I'd hold off on doing that, it might come in handy in the future if only as some good references."

So I have it tucked away in the draws of my new room. Did I ever say about moving rooms, I can't remember now.

Mum didn't go to her chair last night, instead sat next to me holding my hand while I held dad's hand with my free hand. It's always such a super time of the day for me and even more so last night.

Everyone's Only Child.

 I took the letter down to breakfast with me this morning with the intention of revealing all. But there was something wrong with one of the beasts, That's what dad and Eric call the cattle for some reason. Anyway dad was calling the vet and then Eric to see if he would come in and help if they needed it so the time went and the moment lost.

I went with mum to church where Annette  handed me another Victoria sponge cake.

"You can't keep spoiling her like this." Said mum.

I assured Annette that it was okay and that I didn't mind in the slightest. Everyone thought this funny and Moss promptly ran off and returned with the plate of biscuits.

"In that case allow me!" he said thrusting the plate towards me.

Before adding that we have to look after our youngest member. It's feels like I'm everyone's only child these days.

On the way home we called in to see Norman, which I think may be the last time as he seems to be coping alright now and has even abandoned his walking stick. He had a full pile of logs by the fire still as the weather has been warmer so he has only had the fire on in the evening for a short while.

The vet had been and gone before we got back, he couldn't find much wrong with the animal and thought may be it had been getting bullied and could have taken a knock and was feeling a bit off colour. So they have put in a pen by itself for the time being.

After this we went to have dinner with uncle Ken and auntie Carole, and Kimbely of course. They are very busy lambing sheep at the moment so Kimberly, who was much more pleasant this time, showed me round the barns with all the lambs and their mum's. Apparently Kimberly spends a lot of time looking after the sheep and even helps them to give birth should they need help.

Over dinner auntie Carole was pulling my leg saying that Ken has a shed full of machinery in need of repair before I can go home. They were all laughing and joking at my expense, which I didn't mind, it was just fun. Then it suddenly turned serious when dad said, "While she's at it she'll put that fertiliser on for you if you just show her how to go on and keep an eye on her." 

I'm not sure if it was meant as a joke to start with or not but Ken seemed to take it seriously and was grateful for the offer. He's finding it hard getting on and off the tractors with his bad hip and with the sheep lambing I think things are getting on top of him a bit even though Kimberly and Carole both help out where they can. Anyway, whatever the reason I have myself a job this next week. I'm finding the prospect a bit daunting to be honest as everything will be new and it's one thing messing up for dad, which would be awful, but it will be even worse if I mess up for uncle Ken. I guess I will just have to not mess up.

Thank you to those who made suggestions with regard to he letter, I now have a more clear plan in my head. It's like being back in my little room making plans! I'm going to wait until we are sat quiet after dinner. I will let you know how it goes tomorrow. Thank you also for those that have expressed a desire for me to carry on writing here even though the dramatic part of my life is over.

A Disappointing Day.

 I've been a bit disappointed today as I was expecting Charlotte to be at the stables again today but she never showed up so I've been back to Jilly no mates. I thought she might have let me know.

At least Rob was there, he didn't even wait until I was leaving today. He saw me in the yard and said for me to go over and have my lunch with him in his garden as it's a nice day, and added that he had a surprise for me. Two of the girls were there listening and when Rob walked away I heard them giggling which I found very rude, not to mention annoying. I couldn't catch what they said but it seemed to me that it was either about me or Rob. Anyway I did go and have my lunch break with him and he brought out two cups of tea and two vanilla slices and it was very enjoyable sitting there in his lovely garden.

Another thing that's been bothering me today is the letter that came with the laptop. I haven't told mum and dad yet as I'm worried that they might say I should go back and take advantage of the offer. I wouldn't think they would want me to go back, but they might think they are standing in my way or something. I'm thinking, why risk any upset over something I'm not interested in, but then I feel I should tell them as I don't like to keep secrets from them, it feels dishonest.

A Letter From The Invisible Man.

 Today I got my laptop back from Scotland. To be correct, it's actually their laptop bought by them for me to do my school work on. A lot of which is saved on my google drive so I was still able to access it. However there is some on the laptop that is handy to have.

I got a bit of a surprise when I opened the box that it was in because stuck to the lid of the laptop was a hand written letter in an envelope. The writer didn't leave a name or anything but from what was said I think it was written by the invisible man himself. It certainly wasn't Miss Olivers handwriting as I know what that looks like, and I don't know who else would have an interest in writing in that way. Also, just in case you are wondering, the invisible man doesn't use invisible ink - thankfully.

I did think of copying it out here in my diary but as it's public and the letter is private maybe that wouldn't be a good thing to do. Basically speaking though he starts off by apologizing to me for being treated the way I was in his house. Apparently he was mortified to hear of the lengths I went to in order to get away from the place. It would appear that he was originally informed of my exploits, particularly in regard to me squatting in the east wing, in a manner designed to secure some kind of retribution against me, but it seems that it backfired on those involved and they've ALL receive severe reprimands. He didn't say who or exactly how many, but it tells me it wasn't just one person.

He also said that on hearing of my plight, the thing that impressed him the most, especially considering my age, was my determination and ingenuity in resolving my problems, and how someone so young possessed such amazing ethics. I'm not sure what he means by that. 

He finished off by asking if I would consider, now or sometime in the near future, returning to work alongside, and be trained by Miss Oliver to become a valued member of his personal team as he greatly values, all the attributes that I obviously possess, and goes on to say that I need have not the slightest fear of returning to the same situation that I left. He gives his word on that.

This is not the whole letter, it's just to give an idea as I know some of you have followed my journey from the beginning so it's only right that you also get to share the end.

Flap Attack.

 Yesterday in between work and dinner me and dad went down to feed Norman's cats. This I was pleased about until he told me to grab my L plates and said I could drive him! I must confess to getting in a bit of a panic at the thought. 

Anyway I needn't have worried as I did okay apart from when a car was coming towards me - it's okay, I didn't pile into it or anything. I just got in a bit of a flap because the lane is only one vehicle wide, so someone always has to give way and make room. This woman drove straight past a passing place and then drove right up to me and then just sat there in the middle of the road. Dad was gesticulating to her to reverse back to the passing place and she was doing the same back to him and I was sitting there wondering if now was a good time to bail out and do  a runner. I couldn't even pull on to the grass verge at this point as there was a hedge on one side and ditch on the other. In the end dad said I would need to reverse as it was obvious the woman was incapable. I guess I should have been pleased that he thought that I was capable but I was to busy fighting off a panic attack to register his confidence on me. I'm not sure why I panicked as I reverse the tractor with no problem, I even got to manage it quite good with the manure trailer on the back the other day. Also of course I reverse round the yard with the bales on the telehandler. So why I got in to such a flap over reversing the pickup truck I don't know, but flap I did. I even stalled it twice letting the clutch out so that generated even more flapping. Dad told me to just calm down and think about what I was doing, just do as you normally do with the tractor. It's no big deal. After that I just like blocked everything and was able to think better. I must have reversed a quarter of a mile until the verge widen out and I was able to pull forward on to it and so let her past. Even then she got so close to me that there was hardly room to pull forward on to the grass. I was all trembling and sweat pouring off me by the time I got done with her. I was really annoyed with myself that I'd failed so badly, and I spent the night in a subdued quiet mode, which is why I didn't make this entry last night as usual.

Dad had a word with me as we were going to bed which made it a little better. He said I did good and that I would meet plenty of people like her on the roads and as the more skilled drive it would be on me to help them out like I did tonight. I argued that I was hardly the  more skilled driver. But then he pointed out that I reverse a quarter of a mile down the road and didn't leave the tarmac once, whereas she was obviously incapable of reversing twenty yards in to a pull in which she didn't even see when driving forwards.

"Your only mistake was to let her panic you. You had more than enough skill to get out of the situation." 

This made me think of grandfathers naughty step book. 'Your biggest failure today'? Got panicked by some obstinate bitch in a car.

'How Do You Plan To Resolve It'?

By always making sure I'm driving something bigger than the other vehicle so that I can push her out of the way in to the ditch!

First thing this morning we called the hospital to be told that Norman was coming home, probably around lunch time. So after lunch me and mum went down to see if there was anything he wanted. We took some milk and bread with us as we thought he may not have any that was fresh.

Mum was very brave, and on dad's suggestion, let me drive her, as my learner plates were still on the truck from last nights episode. This time we met a van and a car coming towards us, the van pulled off the road for me and because there was nowhere to pull off for either person the second time we both put two wheel on the grass verge and drove past without incident. I even got a wave from each driver. So I feel a bit better tonight than I did last night. Mum even said to dad how she felt safe. She must be getting used to living dangerously.

Anyway, back to Norman. He was home when we got there and he was looking much better, he even had a smile on his face. He was still limping and with a walking stick, but said the pain was mostly gone and he was able to get around much better. He was glad of the milk and bread and mum got him to make a list of things he needed and she would get them for him until he could get out himself. While they were doing that I got some firewood from the shed and put him a pile by the fire so he didn't need to go doing a lot of lifting. He said he would be okay to feed the cats and thanked us for all we had done for him. On leaving we told him to call us should he need anything and that we would be back tomorrow at some point. 

I had parked in Norman's yard round by the barns so I turned round in the yard, because you aren't supposed to reverse out on to a road - see I'm learning something! When out on the lane I put the truck in to reverse and started reversing down the road. Mum wondered what I was playing at but was okay when I told her I was practicing ready for the next bitch that crosses my path.

"Oy, language young madam, I don't want any of your road rage when I'm with you - or any other time come to that!"

She makes me laugh sometimes.

I was thinking of grandfather and how I had to keep on doing something until I got it perfect, and then keep on doing it some more to show him it wasn't a fluke. By the time we got home poor mum was exasperated and I was able to reverse in an instance like a pro for as far as you liked and faster than mum was able to stomach.

Special Moments.

 Mum had a church meeting to attend last night which meant that I hardly got to see anything of her yesterday other than at meal times. So last night when I went to bed I decided to set my alarm to go off thirty minutes early with the intention of climbing in to bed with mum for half an hour before we had to get up. It's something I find very special and I know mum enjoys it, so I though it would be a nice way of making up for the time lost yesterday.

I was a bit unsure how she would be about me waking her up so much earlier, but when I got there she was actually awake, as she had woken when dad got up.

I wish I could tell you how nice it always feels, maybe you know already. When in bed, mum is on my right and this morning as I lay on my back she turned on to her left side and gently brushed wisps of hair from my face before leaning across and kissing my forehead.

"Whenever I look at you I feel like my heart is going to burst." She said in my ear.

I thought that was so sweet.

"Even when I first met your dad I don't think I ever felt this way." She added.

I knew what she meant as I was feeling it right then myself. It feels so awesome when someone makes you feel so special and treasured.

"I feel that you've always been my real mum, just that you got me a different way to normal because it was the only way you could get me. That other woman was just the parcel carrier." I said voicing my thoughts out loud.

It's amazing how quickly half an hour goes when you're enjoying such special moments.

Daft Rubbish.

 Someone asked this morning whether Norman has livestock on his farm, and I answered that he doesn't as I was thinking of only cattle and such like. But later I remembered that I saw some cats there when they were taking him away, so I said about it to mum this morning when we were getting breakfast and she said to see if they let him home first before we go off down there. I didn't see why we had to wait but then when dad and Eric came in for breakfast I soon understood why. Dad wanted me to spend the day with Eric cleaning out one of the cattle sheds. So I have a tractor with a trailer on which Eric loads with manure from the shed and then when full I haul it across the fields and tip it in a heap to be spread sometime in the future. I just love driving the tractors.

It was funny at breakfast this morning. Eric handed me this envelope and on opening it I found a couple of magnetic learner plates. 

This was a nice gesture in itself but then he went and said, "Put them on and you'll be able to take you mum shopping on the tractor."

Everyone laughed except poor mum, "You can shut up Eric _____, her heads already full of ideas without you adding any of your daft rubbish." replied mum.

We all laughed, both at mum's reply, the manner in which she replied and also the thought of me and mum off shopping on the tractor. Of course I will be able to take her shopping, but in the car as long as she is with me. I can drive a tractor on the road by myself but not a car. I guess it will depend on whether her nerves will stand it.

A Joint Effort.

 Norman is having to stay in for another night, I think mainly because he has no one to look after him at home were he to return. I said that I didn't mind doing a bit if it helped, but mum wasn't having that and said I'd done enough and that he was better where he was anyway as he would get better looked after.

My provisional driving license came today so now I can book some driving lessons. I've already been doing some swatting up on the highway code in bed at night before going to sleep.

This morning I was helping mum with the housework, which for me was mainly vacuuming and hanging out some washing. Then after lunch dad let me put out some more bales of straw ready for the straw blower to pick up. I enjoyed that. After this I took some of the leek and stilton cheese soup up to Rob and told him about Norman. I'm not sure that was a good thing to do as he now feels bad that he never thought to do it himself. I just told him that he didn't have to feel bad as it was a joint effort, he brought it to my attention and I went and checked it out, which I wouldn't have done had he not said something to me about it on Saturday. I think he felt a bit better about it after that.

That's about it for today, just a steady day.

Not Letting It Go.

 We've had a bit of a job this morning, all of my own making - who would guess? 

On the way to church I pointed out to mum where Norman lives.

"Yes, I think I've lived here long enough to know where Norman lives my dear." Mum replied.

I took that as mum's polite way of saying it was a stupid statement, which I agree, it was. Although to be fair to myself it was more of a hint that we might call in and check on him rather than factual information. Anyway disappointingly, that was that.

At church everything was much the same as usual. Although one old lady brought me a Victoria sponge cake that she made especially for me because I told her the other week about my adoption party, as I've come to call it, and how they came out with my fav cake at the end. That night was so awesome! I did think of offering everyone a piece of cake at the church but then thought that the lady made it for me so may not like me giving it away to everyone. So I shelved that idea.

On the way back from church I just asked mum straight out if we could stop at Norman's so I could check in on him.

"You're not going to let this go are you?"

"I can't now that I've thought about it, it's in my head." I said.

So we pulled up on the road outside and mum stayed in the car while I went to the front door, quite expecting to make a fool of myself. Mum wouldn't come because she said it was my idea. I knocked on the front door which is right on the side of the lane, but no one answered. Mum put down the window and said to try the back door as the front door doesn't look used. The whole house didn't look used to my way of thinking.

There is the house, and then joined straight on to the side there is a brick barn and both more or less form the edge of the road. To get to the back there is a passage way. In the passage was Norman's bicycle, so this most likely meant that he was home. At the end of the passage it opened out in to a sort of courtyard, the front of which looked out over a field with horses in it. To my right was another barn and to my left was what I was seeking, the back door. I knocked on it but no one came. So I knocked again and it was after this that I heard someone from within. Then the door opened and there stood Norman leaning heavily on a wooden walking stick, his left trouser leg pulled up to above his knee. He stood mostly on his right leg and I could see immediately what the problem was.

I said, "Hiya Norman, I'm sorry if this is an intrusion but I was talking to Rob at the stables yesterday and we got to wondering if you're okay as we hadn't seen you around, and added, I'm Kate from ______ Farm by the way." Just in case he had forgotten me from the past.

"It's me leg, it's all swelled up, I've never known pain like it." He said in a very strain voice.

It was more than swelled up, it looked terrible. It was as big at the bottom as at the top and very red in colour.

"I've been sitting with it up and some frozen peas on it, I've never known pain like it before." He said again.

Apparently he couldn't recall hurting it and said he just woke up with it like that the other morning. I had all the information I needed and the look of it told me it was bad, but I was unsure what to do about it. He clearly needed more professional attention than I could give him. So I went back to the passage and waved for mum to come and look. She put down the window and asked what was wrong. I told her she needed to come and take a look as it wasn't good. She didn't say anything but I got the feeling that she was a bit pissed, which isn't like her, she usually likes to help people. After all it was her who made dad come to my aid that night. She was fine when she saw what I meant and did everything she could without a problem. We helped him back to his chair and sat him down and then mum called 111 to get some medical information on the matter. She put a blanket over his legs, I think to keep him warm, although his leg was so gross to look at it was probably to hide it. Either way he jumped as the blanket brushed against his leg. So that tells what pain he was in. I know I hate medical attention myself, but I think even I would have done a bit more than put frozen peas on it by now.

Anyway the outcome of the call was that we had to call an ambulance straight away as he probably had some kind of infection that needed urgent treatment. It took them a while to come, and they checked him out and made him more comfortable before taking him away to York hospital.

It was strange when we got back in the car because mum was sitting there wiping tears from her face. I thought she was upset about Norman, so I went to comfort her and I said he would most likely be okay now and not to worry.

"It's not Norman, you dafty, it's YOU!" she said sniffling in to her handkerchief.

I didn't see any reason to cry but I was told to be quiet or we would end up crashing. So I didn't speak again until we got home. When we got out I went to get our things from off the back seat and she came and gave me a hug so I knew everything was okay then.

Should I Or Shouldn't I?

 Around four on an evening there is this old guy called Norman who comes down the lane on his bicycle. Eric once told me that he lives alone since his brother passed, quite away down the lane at a run down old farm. As  he can't get any further than the farm, he stops just outside the gate and has a look round before returning back down the lane. I've also seen him every Saturday since I started going to the stables. Anyway Rob, the turnip guy, just happened to say last night that he hadn't seen him for a few days and I had to admit to the same myself, but I just thought that maybe I missed him as I'm not always around, and I never really thought about it to be honest, but I think Rob must look out for him so as to have a chat over the garden wall, as he does.

Anyway I woke up quite early this morning and it came in to my head, what if something happened to him? Living alone as he does he could be ill or worse and no one would know. Of course, at that time in the morning I wasn't thinking with a great deal of logic and so it never occurred to me that he would just call someone for help, this if he is able to. Anyway it's just sort of been bugging me all morning. I mentioned it to dad this morning and he said I shouldn't worry, but the trouble is, I am. I'm thinking about asking mum to stop as we pass on the way to church. I'm going to feel stupid though if there is nothing wrong, which there no doubt isn't.

New Found Heart Throb.

 Today I've been to the stables again, helping out. There was a new girl there today called Charlotte so because she arrived before the others Lyndsey put us together doing stuff. So finally I've found an ally. She is very pretty, tall and slim with long blonde hair. Opposite to me, a boring brown haired short arse. But who cares about looks hey?

Well for sure my new boy friend doesn't, because he was waiting for me when I went home again tonight, and he was literally waiting for me. He didn't just happen to be there, it wasn't an off chance meeting, not even a pretend one. He even had another present for me, I am feeling so loved tonight so special was the present. Three lovely big leeks and a great big smile! Who could ask for more? Well not me, I firmly believe that it's the thought that counts. Of course he tried to hide his passion by pretending that they are for my mum, as he did with the turnip. But we all know that to win the heart of your girl, you first must win that of her mother. Well he certainly did that, because mum has already got planned a use for them. Almost as excited as me she was, beaming and full of joy.

"Oh how lovely," she said.

"They'll make a nice drop of leek and stilton soup,"

You can be as certain as God makes little green apples that there is going to be  a drop left over for our new found heart throb.