Eric's Trouser Problem.

 At breakfast this morning, and as planned, dad asked Eric if he would go to the  farm store to pick up some things for the farm, such as blades for the mower, tines and grease cartridges etc.

"Can Kate go with you as she wants to buy a sun hat and a few shirts for summer?"

Thankfully Eric agreed, there was no reason why he wouldn't, in fact I think he liked the idea to be honest.

Once at the store he went to the counter and got the items that he had gone for while I went to the clothing and picked out a hat and also a brown leather belt. I'd been struggling all weekend to formulate a plan of action when at the store but hadn't really been able to think of anything very good. So now I was sort of playing it by ear I think it's called, the belt was the start of the plan.

I took my things to the counter and joined Eric and the guy serving him. It was the same guy who took care of me and mum that time, and he remembered me. I told the guy that I would be buying my own things so not to put them on the farm account. Eric signed the paper for his things and I then passed him the belt and after taking it from me, asked him to go and pick a pair of trousers for himself to match the belt.

He looked a little bemused, and said, "I don't need any trousers."

"I'm sorry Eric, but I think you do, and you must know that you do too. I want to buy them for you as a friend, please don't force me to pull rank on you." Now that's my version of bossing it! I don't like to brag about myself, like grandfather often told me, 'self praise is no recommendation'. But I couldn't help feeling that I played that well. 

It did the trick anyway as Eric walked off, with what I hoped was fake reluctance, to the clothing section. 

The guy at the counter said, "It looks like you're settling in alright then?"

I assured him that I was getting there and that I was loving it. We chattered a little more before I excused myself, as I wanted to make sure Eric was behaving himself and not picking more of what he already had. The guy from the counter came with me. From the way he acts I get the feeling that he likes me a bit.

Eric had chosen a pair of trousers that he liked in a size that he said were better than what he had on. I made him go and try them on and when he return I didn't mess around. If he insisted on acting like a child over buying a pair of trousers, he deserved to be treated like one. So I grabbed at the waistband to feel what slack there was, they were much improved on his present pair, not that I've ever felt the need to interferer with those for any reason. You just have to look to see they aren't right.

So whilst there was a bit of slack to be found in he waist, knowing how long Eric liked to make things last I felt a size bigger would be best to accommodate any future expansion. So I asked the store guy if there was a pair one size bigger. He promptly found a pair and handed them to me and I gave them to Eric and said to try them on. He came back saying that the other pair was better as these were too lose.

I handed him the belt, "That's what this is for."

I wasn't sure at this point whether he was happy or had given up the will to resist, but he seemed to accept his lot. So I paid up and we left with Eric wearing his new trousers.

When we got in the car I pointed out how much better that must feel.

He didn't admit that it did, instead saying, "You're a right one you are, I can see now why you mum and dad make sure they stuck hold of you when they found you!"

That stuck me as funny because I always see it as me sticking hold of them.

After parking up back at the farm he thanked me before we parted ways. I said he was welcome and that I hoped I wasn't too bossy, "I just didn't want you getting in to anymore trouble or anything.

I was in the pantry when he came in for lunch, and I had to stop and listen before returning to the kitchen as he was all full of himself telling mum all about getting his new trousers and what an awesome girl I am. It really thrilled me no end, even more so thinking how mum must have felt on hearing him raving like that. I never let on that I heard any of it.

Going Round In Circles.

 Today I had another driving lesson. This meant I missed helping mum with some of the housework. But I did manage to get the vacuuming done after lunch so that was good.

Because the instructor thought I needed to build up my confidence on round a bouts, the whole lesson was devoted to them. I spend so much time going round in circles it's a wonder I didn't get dizzy! I did little mini ones, normal ones, BIG scary five lane ones and even a double, which is one round a bout that leads straight into another! Some road planner somewhere must have had a bad nights sleep and got out of the wrong side of the bed the morning he thought that one up. He thought that if he was having a bad day then everyone else was going to. 

The thing I have trouble with the most is choosing the right lane to be in. If they made it a personal preference, like picking nail varnish colour or some such thing, I would be fine. But oh no, you have to be in the right lane or you,re going to get some impatient knob in an Audi stuck up your bum, with his horn on like it's some sort of anger management tool rather than a simple warning device that's only there to get a girls attention. You would think that having a big letter 'L' stuck to the back of your car might give him a clue that you perhaps aren't sure what you're doing and so take these things more steady. But oh no, we can't have that can we, you have to be in the right position or it's the end of the world for him.

Anyway, everything went well and I think my only problem with them now are the ones I have in my head about them.

One Step Ahead.

 First of all I would like to thank the person who appeared to read every single entry bar one of my diary over the past 24 hours. Who ever it was deserves a medal for their efforts. The one entry that wasn't read was Happy Slapper which has now been renamed, 'Annoying Habit' and is dated 19/02/24. I say this on the assumption that it was one person as I can't tell who read what. It's just the way the numbers were that made it more likely to be just one person. If it was one person and you read this I would be interested as to why you missed just one entry. Drop me a message if you want, I'm very respectful and not at all scary.

While on the subject. Thanks also to everyone else who bothers to read what I write. I really do it for myself, to record the time I spent in Scotland. But it's nice that you read it, and helps me keep the motivation to carry on now those times are behind me and all I have to write about is daily life on the farm. Which is no doubt pretty boring to most people.

Right then, back to me. It's all about me isn't it - me me me!!

I had a fun moment with mum when leaving church yesterday. I had been wondering all weekend about how to approach her with regard me and Mr C's plan to resolve Eric's trouser situation. I really hadn't found the right time, and the courage, at the same time in order to bring up the subject. So it wasn't until Sunday morning when I decided to hold my breath and take the 3 2 1 approach. I had the speech and the answer to any opposition written out in my head. Well to be truthful, they were actually ingrained as I'd been going over it so many times that they are now imprinted in my brain somewhere. A bit like when you stare at a bright light, you can still see it for sometime after you look away.

"Mum...." I started, as we sat in the car just before starting the engine in order to drive off.

"Yes, of course you can my dear. Knowing you I'd expect nothing less." She said, interrupting me after getting the one word out of my mouth.

I haven't spoken a word about this to anyone except in my diary. So at this point I'm starting to break out in to a cold sweat thinking that by some miracle she has come across my diary. I looked across at her to see her looking straight ahead with a big grin on her face. Somehow she had gotten one step ahead of me and thrown me off balance.

She then looked at me looking at her for clues so that I could figure out what to say next.

"What's the matter, has the cat got your tongue or something? That's a first!" She said to me.

Without showing all my cards, I had to ask, "How did you know?"

"I'm your mother aren't I? I was always going to catch up with you eventually. It's been two weeks now since you've had an urge to save some poor soul from their own problems. You must be absolutely bustin' by now." She said sort of sarcastically yet with a smile in her voice.

Then before I could figure out how to answer she went on, " So who, or what is it this time that needs rescuing?"

Well at least he didn't know, about the diary or Eric so this was my chance to enlighten her about the latter. 

"It's about Eric and his trousers, I want to get him some new ones that fit him better so that he doesn't go getting in to any more trouble."

"I'm sure if Eric feels there is a need for a new pair of trousers he will buy his own." She replied, quite seriously now.

Ah! Now we were back on track, this was part of the script in my head. I didn't need to think anymore before answering.

"Yes I know that, but he isn't going to is he, you know what he's like."

"Well if you feel you have to. Good luck with getting him to take your money though."

I told her at this point about the plan, and how I wanted her to get him to run me to the farm store and I would sort something out with him when we got there.

"At least you've included me in your plans this time, so that's nice, I appreciate it. Poor Eric, he isn't going to stand a chance with you is he!" she said smiling at the thought in her head.

So we worked out over preparing Sunday lunch how mum would make out that I needed a few things for summer use on the farm as the ones I had were mostly winter clothing and so would Eric mind just running me to the store. Also when we told dad he said he needed some farm supplies from there anyway, so he would get Eric to go and fetch them on Tuesday and I could then go with him. He also told me to put the trousers on the farm account, but I said that I wanted to buy them for him as a thank you for all the things he has taught me about how to use the tractors.

"He probably doesn't need any thanks for that, you're doing him a favour. As you know he hates spending much time on the tractors himself. So by you doing the job it gives him more time with his cattle, which he enjoys more. It's up to you though. Whatever makes my little girl happy!"

Absolutely Stunning.

 I went to the photo society meeting with Charlotte tonight, just as a spectator. We arranged it last weekend when she stayed over. It was one of the things we talked about so she suggested I went with her. I didn't really want to as it meant missing my night with mum and dad. But she came over to stay with me so it was only right to return the favour, although I didn't sleep over at her house.

Anyway I'm pleased that I did. Although I got an absolutely massive surprise when I got to her house. She had been and got her long blonde hair cut to just above the shoulders, which was a surprise. Again, we did talk about it last weekend but I never thought she would actually do it. I also didn't imagine it would look so great either, and because she was going to live model this week she had on makeup. She looked totally stunning. I sort of wished I was a boy to be honest!! If you remember, she had all her camera stuff taken off her and was grounded for a couple of weeks for doing the live modeling thing before. It wasn't the fact that she did it, just that she did it without telling her parents about it. So just incase you are wondering, she does have permission to model now, with proviso's that the society have to abide by. One of which is that all pictures taken must be deleted before leaving the venue. The guy running it has had to put his name to that so he supplies all the memory cards and wipes them after viewing and discussion, then Charlotte keeps them until next time she models. She just does the modeling every last Friday in the month, the other weeks she goes as a photographer. She's into all that stuff. It's all taken very seriously and is not for me. It was nice seeing Charlotte in that environment. It sort of helped me a bit in seeing how mum sees me because Charlotte is always surprising me with the way she is and the things she does. I probably won't go again, but we'll see.

Positive trouser Thoughts.

 

I have been with Eric today clearing fallen branches from around the fields edges where they had fallen down over the winter. I didn't really do much except clear the rubbish away but because Eric was using the chainsaw someone had to be with him in case of an accident.

While watching him I got to thinking - I know, that's not good is it! A good friend of mine mentioned how Eric has left himself open for loads of leg pulling after nearly getting busted by the cops. My first reaction when he was telling us about it was to laugh, and that's just normal, especially for anyone who knows Eric. However, I thought I might like to be different, you know what I'm like? So I'm thinking if it might be a an idea to take him to the farm store and buy him some new trousers. I have a bit of money I could use, so it wouldn't cost dad anything. I'm sure Eric can buy his own trousers, but rather than just take the piss I feel it would be nice to do something positive for him. Especially considering how much he's helped me learn the controls of the tractors and what have you since I came here. It doesn't mean that I have to be totally boring, I could still pull his leg as well. 

Anyway, I don't know what anyone things. You probably think me crazy to be honest. Of course I will have to get it past mum as well. Also I will need to borrow transport too. I think it would be best not to tell him where he's going until we get there. I have all weekend to think about it or even if to do it or not. Of course I could buy him a subscription to weight watches. I reckon it's easier to just buy the trousers than it would be to get Eric to stop eating mum's big breakfast though.

Hot Topic Eric.

 Every morning around nine thirty Mum, dad, Old Eric the farm worker and myself sit down to breakfast. Mum usually has toast, although sometimes she has some sort of cereals. I have porridge with added fruit and honey. The fruit is always blueberries from the shops and some soft fruit berries that are from the garden last year and have been frozen in our freezer. At the moment I am having black currants. Dad and Eric have a full English breakfast, which is various things such as eggs, bacon sausages and the rest depends on what we have. It could be mushrooms; it could be beans or whatever else is to hand. So, that is breakfast, and I say this for no particular reason other than I've never said it before and it may be something worth noting.

Anyway, the real reason to bring up breakfast, well, not literally of course. Let's say, during breakfast as that sounds better. We, that's is mum, dad and Eric, I tend to sit and listen, talk mostly about plans for the day, and perhaps a bit of gossip from the village that Eric brings to work with him most days. He's a bit like a local daily news paper.

Today's hot topic was about Eric himself, who had a visit from the police last night. It turns out he was under investigation for indecent exposure! This so amused me, both the thought and the sight of Eric flashing someone was to funny. It brought back thoughts of Mr McCleod and the bread delivery. (15/07/24 Out For Delivery).

Because his jeans are too tight, and he himself is too tight to by a bigger pair he unfastens the button when he gets in the seat of his car to release some pressure while driving. Well he says he had to pick up some milk from the local shop on his way home from work and when he got out of his car all his shirt and vest had come out. So this meant the need to tuck it all back in and it was while doing this someone saw him and reported him, thinking he was flashing them or something. So last night while watching TV he got a knock on the door from the police.

Thankfully it seems that they have taken on board his explanation and have told him to be more careful in future. I expect it was some busy body with nothing to do and too much time to do it in. It livened up breakfast chitchat that's for sure.

A New Family Member.

 On Monday mum, dad and myself went to York, this was the first time ever for me. I heard that it was a nice place but it's a city and whilst I was a city girl for sixteen years, so I'm used to that environment, I wasn't sure I wanted to experience it again. But we were meeting our friend Irene there who was on a visit to the area to see her daughter for the Easter holiday and this week.

Dad made me get my learner plates and put them on his car, which I wasn't very happy about really. My head was full of Irene and I had never driven in York before but he insisted that they were reasons to do it and not reasons not to do it, as it would be all good experience for me. Anyway, even though it was a bit mental, I managed not to kill anyone or dent anything, and dad did say I was fine, and that I just need to stay a bit more calm sometimes. He was referring to me missing a turn off a round a bout because I got hung out to dry in the wrong lane. Those darn round a bouts.

We met Irene as arranged outside York Minster. I had something I wanted to say for ages now and I thought this was the time to say it. So I ran ahead of the others and gave her a hug, she hugged me back, "my word, what a bonny lass you've become!"

This comment almost made me jump the rails because I was surprised that I was any different to when she last saw me. I managed to stay focused and said to her how lovely it was to see her again.

Before asking, "Would you be offended if I called you gran?"

She laughed and said, "You can call me whatever you want my sweetheart, you'll never offend me."

Then added, "I hope I can be worthy of such a grand title."

"You've already are worthy, I have the best mum and dad in the world and now I have the best gran in the world too!"

I'd not said anything about this to mum and dad as it was something I wanted to do regardless, mostly because she felt like a granny to me, also I felt it would be some kind of recognition for all that she has done and offered to do for me in the past. I thought mum and dad may try to stop me, I also though I might be in trouble now. 

So it was a bit of a surprise to see mum with a tear in her eye, "Katie! You're a proper devil sometimes, I never know what you're going to come out with next."

It might sound like she was not best pleased, but I can tell she was very pleased, she called me Katie for a start off, but the watery eyes said it all to me.

Dad had a joke with Irene asking if that means he has to call her mum?! Everyone laughed. Gran is so sweet and easy to get along with.

The weather wasn't very nice with rain coming on so we decided to take a look around the minster. It is very big and impressive. I once went to Coventry cathedral on a school visit, I think York Minster is more impressive. We also had some lunch followed be a walk round some of the old streets and shops. I can see now why people say they like it in York. What I saw of it, it's a way better city than Coventry.

When we had finished in York I drove everyone over to the village where grans daughter lives and we met her and her family before going out for an evening meal at a local pub. Her family are all very nice. She already has three grand children and now another one! Although I didn't broadcast the fact while I was in their company for fear of upsetting them. Gran wants to come and visit the farm sometime, which is only about twenty miles from where her family are.

It still seems strange. I  mean how would I ever have imagined that day when we met on the train, and she was telling me about visiting her daughter who lives near York, that one day I would be a farmers daughter living just a few miles away from her daughter - and now she is my granny! I feel like a doll sometimes, like someone is playing with me, putting me in places I don't belong and making me do things I have no say in. 

Well Buzzing.

 I have had a nice day today. After breakfast me and mum dropped Charlotte off back at her home on our way to church. She said she had a nice time and wants to come again. Actually, she wants to teach me to ride, I will have to see about that. For some reason I found something very satisfying watching her and mum chatting away about the horses. They seemed to be getting on so well there was a point when I was beginning to think mum was looking to get me a sister!!

Church was much he same as always. Certain people seem to make a beeline for me after the service and they always want to catch up on what I've been up too. The vicar did a nice thing during the service. After reading out a list of events she congratulated me for passing my driving theory test. I think I blushed a little because of the attention it drew to me. It was nicer afterwards when people came and talked to me about it. 

This afternoon was the best though. As it was a nice sunny day me, mum and dad just spend the time sitting in the garden. I know it might not seem very exciting but to me I love moments like that. We don't even have to talk, just being together as a family is what makes it special for me.

Tomorrow we have a very special treat organised. Irene is staying with her daughter and family over the Easter week, and so when I phoned her the other night and found that she was going to be close by I asked if she could find time to meet up with us somewhere so we can spend some time together. She was thrilled at the idea and said she would have a word with her family. She got back to me later and we arranged a day out together in York. That will take place tomorrow so I am well buzzing about that.

Attitude Is A Grandfather Away.

I'm not sure why, but this weeks visit to the stables hardly took up any of my thoughts before the event this week. Usually I can think of little else the day before or even more sometimes. This I find a little surprising in that it was quite an important week with potential for something to go wrong, in that Peter was due to be there for his first time as a helper. I, true to form had volunteered myself to  be both his mentor and match maker. I'm not sure that I qualify for either role really, but especially the latter one.

He did arrive, which was a good start, and after asking Lyn, I set him off with Elisabeth to fill hay nets and it made me happy to see them walking back across the yard not only chattering and laughing away together, but also he seemed to have remembered how I told him to help her as much as possible while being kind and nice to her. She had one net full of hay and he was struggling down the yard beside her with four!! That's what I call a proper gentleman!

Throughout the day I set them together whenever there was a pos ability and it was a pleasure to see them getting along so well, albeit a bit to much fooling around at times but I let it slide this week. Although looking back maybe a bit of alienation against me might not have been a bad thing. One of the many things I  learned from Miss Oliver's self improvement classes is that nothing brings  people together like a common enemy. Also it would have taken me off the menu should I still be on it in his head.

Because mum and dad were going on a night out I had Charlotte come back home with me. Mum and dad had already left when we got home. Charlotte was to have my old room for the night so I took her up there with her things and then showed her round house. Mum had left us both a salad for our dinner plus what was left of this weeks Victoria sponge cake. It's easy to see why Charlotte is so slender, she nibbles away at her food in a manner that made me worry that she wasn't enjoying it. But when questioned she said she was enjoying it very much as salad was one of her fav meals. I hope she is okay and not one of those that half starve themselves just to fit an image. 

Other than that there were no worries. We took a walk around the farm yard after we had finished eating and tidied up after ourselves. Mum specified that strongly, as part of being left home alone with Charlotte. 

"Don't go letting me come home to a mess will you?" She had said.

I hope she really knew that she didn't need to tell me that, I think it was just a standard mother comment, like an instinct one gets born with or something.

Dad had added jokingly, "And try not to burn the house down!"

"Okay!" I'd replied, in my best, 'I'm not stupid manner'.

Notice how these day's a have a manner and not an attitude! Grandfather would be proud of me.

Before adding as an after thought, "And you two try not to get any parking tickets!"

Mum called me a cheeky madam while chasing after me with the tea towel.

This brought back a memory of grandfather flicking me in the face with one of his socks, although the situations were way different. His was to intimidate, mum's was done in fun and with a good nature.

The rest of the night was just spent chatting away, mostly about horses and riding, also after a while, I think when she got more comfortable being with me, she got to asking me how I came to be at the farm, and we got in to my past, and before we realised it, it was time for some supper and bed.

I enjoyed it, not just because we had a good time, but I also finally found the real Charlotte, the one that I always knew was there somewhere, but could never quite find. I'm actually now finding myself  fighting the depth of my affection for her if I'm honest. 

Hot Date And Overnight Stay.

 Oh dear, poor mum! Because it's good Friday she went to church in the morning and she only went and got a parking ticket! She parked where we normally do on a Sunday but didn't think about it being a week day, for which there are parking restrictions in place. I think you can only park there on evenings and weekends. The good thing is that I was working at the stables so wasn't able to go to church with her, or I may would have been driving and would probably have done the same thing. 

Everything went okay for me at the stables yesterday. Although I was well tired by the time I got finished. I certainly won't be complaining about helping Lyn in the training ring again. I was out with Charlotte all day leading non rides on hacks. This means you have to walk while leading the rider. It's usually kids and people like myself who have no riding experience. Apparently it's what you get during holidays. Mostly parents with their children. Often the parents or one of the parents can ride and then the rest have to be led.

Tomorrow night dad is taking mum on a hot date to see a show that dad booked for her birthday a long time before they had me - so I'm not included. That's okay though. I've been looking all week for an opportunity to ask mum if I can try again to have Charlotte over some time, but knowing how sensitive she is at the moment about me drifting away I haven't dared to bring it up.  But then tonight she asked if I was going to be alright here by myself.

"Well actually, I was wondering if you would mind if I asked Charlotte to come and stay with me?"

"Of course you can, I've told you before to have her over. She seems to be a nice sensible girl." Replied mum.

It's worth a lot when you achieve mum's sensible girl seal of approval.

So I called Charlotte and put it to her and so now she is coming back with me from the stables tomorrow, and then spend the night here with us. Dad reckons they should be back just after midnight so we won't be home lone all night. I just have to figure out what we will do with our time.

More Cleaning Work.

 Today I have been helping Eric empty and clean out one of the grain sheds as we had two trucks come and take away all the grain from them. So afterwards we cleaned everything down and by the time we were finished there was a nearly a trailer load of Barley. which we put through the mill to be used to feed the cattle.

I was finished in time to get showered and cleaned and enjoy afternoon tea with mum in the summerhouse. I was that done in though I went and fell to sleep in the chair!

There is talk of me going to help out the stables tomorrow. It's Good Friday so there are people around on holiday looking for hacks. To many for a Saturday and a Sunday so Lyn is wanting to do some for tomorrow but she doesn't have the help that she needs so mum is wanting me to go, which I suppose I will as I suppose it's my responsibility to help out where I can. I'm not here just to swan around eating out and whatever else we get up to that's a pleasure.

Success.

 Today I went and took my driving theory test, this was the big fish what I mentioned in yesterday’s post. Then, as I was back home by twelve, mum decided that we would go to a local garden centre for our lunch as she wanted another garden bench to match the one I painted on Monday.

 Before this though I had to endure what seemed an endless amount of hugs and back slapping which even Eric managed without causing me any grief. It was very nice though and appreciated their support and enthusiasm. I wanted to tell you yesterday but I didn’t want to jinx myself.  As you can gather I managed  to pass alright, but only just as I got a couple of what I consider to be trick questions wrong. Both were medical questions. One was something like, ‘How do you tell if someone is in shock?’ I said slow heart rate but the answer is fast breathing. Like what has that got to driving safely and who gives a f--- anyway! I’d just call an ambulance anyway.

 The other question was, ‘What would you do if you came across someone with burn injuries?’ I said to remove any burnt clothing that was stuck to them. I thought that the clothing would perhaps keep on burning them if it was still hot. But looking back I guess it was a bit stupid. The proper answer is to pour cold clean water over them. I was going to say that but changed my mind. The true is that when there was no option to run off in to the bushes by the roadside and throw up, I was only ever guessing. I want a license to drive, not to practise medicine anyway.

 So, whilst I’m pleased that I passed, I can’t help feeling quite disappointed with myself for getting those questions wrong. There was another medical question, I don’t recall what that was but I did get it right, so I suppose that’s something.

Unfortunately the trip to the garden centre wasn’t as successful as I, because the only benches of the right size were just rubbish wood and rubbish quality overall. Mum has since been looking online and thinks she may have found one. This is a shame though as we prefer to support local traders if possible. Anyway we has a nice lunch together, although it was expensive for what it was. We did manage to find some plants that mum liked so be bought those, which William will no doubt have to plant – alongside the shrivelled roots he already planted.

A Date With A Mate.

 Today I felt I should get dressed up after breakfast as later I would be going with mum to meet one of her old school friends. I guess I didn’t need to add the ‘old’. If she is a school friend of mum’s then I suppose it’s obvious she will be at least oldish.

Anyway I dressed and altered my appearance to suit the occasion, which was lunch in a restaurant. It turned out to be the sort of place where you order your food and are never quite sure until it arrives just what you’ve ordered. Also, when it did arrive I wasn’t sure if I was meant to eat it or admire it. The chef clearly had a different sort of upbringing to the one I had when growing up. My mother was forever telling me to stop playing around with my food and get it eaten. She wouldn’t even allow me to spell my name with alphabet spaghetti! This guy seemingly isn’t content with playing with his own food but has the need to play around with everyone else’s too. Then he had the nerve to make us pay some extortionate price for the privilege.

 So I put on my best clothes, pushed, pulled, twisted and painted everything to such a degree that it would easily have passed one of grandfather’s routine morning inspections. I couldn’t help thinking that perhaps I should adopt such standards more often as I have to admit to letting things slip since the inspections ended. Do such standards apply to work wear though? I don’t know. Grandfather never inspected my work wear, just my uniform, so maybe not.

 Mum’s friend was a bit of a nightmare to be honest, and I’m afraid to say, she did my head in. She just never stopped talking. She asked me several questions, yet never let me answer one of them properly. I can think of two occasions when she asked me something and before I even opened my mouth to reply,  she had changed the subject completely and was talking to mum again. In the end I just gave up talking, which made me worry that I would appear to be rude or something. Anyway, true to form it didn’t matter as just before leaving she complemented mum on having such a beautifully charming well mannered daughter, and wished us all eternal happiness together. She also hoped we could meet up again sometime in the near future. I must remember to take a gag with me next time – and some sandwiches.

 Well, as you can perhaps tell from the above drivel, and no doubt below drivel also, my wonder woman costume has once again done nothing more than provided entertainment for the moths in my wardrobe. No disasters, broken love triangles, or... I’ve gone and forgotten what it was called now! The thing I gave Eric with the vacuum cleaner, that I’ve no need to bother myself with?  Anyway, I just remembered something else instead. Someone came during the night and stole the copper wire from two of the wind turbines, so rendering them useless. The police are on to it though. Well let’s face it, if anyone is suited to investigating the theft of copper wire it will be a copper! So I won’t bother myself with that. Besides, I do have bigger fish to fry tomorrow. It’s to do with something you all overlooked on Monday.

 Here’s a little fact about where I live. Although the farm is hardly more than three hundred meters from the village pub, which is in the centre of the village, our address takes the name of a village six miles away.

Fake Innocence.

 Today has been an easy day with some washing and housekeeping with mum in the morning, and then in the afternoon I painted one of the garden benches in the summerhouse garden, before mum and I took tea in the summerhouse. Where we chattered about some new plants that she had delivered earlier. When I say WE chattered, I mean mum chattered, and with great enthusiasm about what to me looked like brown paper bags full of shrivelled up roots. I'm not sure what to say about such things and even less as to where to put them. To be honest, if someone delivered them to me I would have thought the river was the best place for them. I just had a thought, I guess that doesn't say a lot for Peter as my first thoughts on dealing with him was to take him to the river!! I never planned to throw in though. I can see a likeness to a shrivelled up roots though, especially as he walked across the lawn towards me that Sunday afternoon.

Also when mum is talking about planting them, she isn't going to be doing it, or entrusting me to the task either, as she has acquired a pet gardener called William. He is around thirty or forty, tall and slim and arrives every Wednesday on a bicycle without a hint of a huff or a puff even after having pedalled for twelve miles to get here. He seems to be on the same wave length as mum when it  comes to the garden because I can see him now jumping around with arms flailing in excitement at the prospect of spending however long burying bags full of shrivelled up roots. Thinking about it now, it sort of makes painting the bench exciting and worthwhile, at least I had something to look at when I got finished, he's going to have less to look at than when he started - well, in the omen at least. I'm sure that in time their work will be almost as beautiful as my contribution to the garden.

Eric got into trouble with mum this morning, almost a 'Young Man' moment! He came in while I was vacuuming a rug and I didn't see him there so he did this thing he sometimes does, although not so often anymore as I've got wary of him so don't turn my back on him anymore. He thinks it's hilarious to grab me by the ribs and see me go through the roof as a result. I don't really mind as it's just a bit of fun but I'm just so ticklish there I can't stand it, and he knows it. Anyway this morning he did that to me while I was distracted by my task, with the predictable reaction from me and off he went laughing his head off. So, after I got finished wetting myself I instinctively got the vacuum tub and stuck it to his right bum cheek as he tried to make his escape. I usually try and give him a slap but I thought I would give this a go instead. You should have seen him jump, he definitely wasn't expecting that!

"Hey watch it!" he shouted.

I turned off the vacuum and said, "You asked for it." I replied.

"If you've given me a love bite and my missus sees it and asks were I got it I'm going to be telling her it was you - then you'll be for it!"

"What's a love bite?" I asked, in fake innocence.

I think mum sometimes forgets where I come from, I can be trained to be a different person but it doesn't erase the past.

"You don't need to go knowing anything about love bites!" She said to me.

"and you needn't start telling her either." She said while pointing a finger at Eric.

Eric and I looked at each other as we both knew we'd been told!

Eric got his glass of water and I took the rug back.

So, that's how you spend half an hour writing about a day when absolutely nothing happened. If you don't want another boring post tomorrow you'd better send me a love problem or something to deal with. 

Peter - The conclusion.

 Today I have been to the stables as usual and everything went very well. I waited for Charlotte at the entrance so I could walk down the drive to the yard with her. I wanted a word with her AGAIN! I felt that she was being a bit off with me since last Sunday. Anyway it turned out to be something and nothing in the end. She said that a few weeks back she had offered to take me out on one of he horses but I had told her that I wasn't really interested in riding. I'd forgotten all about it because I'd dismissed the idea. Anyway Charlotte had remembered, so when Peter announced last Sunday that I was going on a horse riding date with him she felt put out by this, and I can understand why that was. She is okay about it now though, and even thanked me for helping her brother the way I have. Apparently he has been driving them all mad this past week with talk of his new found mentor.

I did make a little mistake though, but thankfully recovered the situation in time. Because I felt bad after hearing how I'd turned down Charlotte's offer to take me out for  ride, without thinking I went and invited her over sometime with a view to taking me out on one of the horses. But as soon as it came out of my mouth I remembered my promise to mum so quickly added that I would have to check to see if it would be alright with mum first though. Charlotte thought it strange that she would mind, so I told her how mum is feeling a bit sensitive at the moment. 

Peter arrived at three as planned and I was there to greet him as I a didn't want him to be overwhelmed by anything before we even got started. I was not worried at all by his presence, I was totally nervous about the actual horse ride though. I was worried about getting on, I was worried about what do to once I was on, and I was even more worried about staying on. Peter actually put me to shame! He was soon up on the horses back and looked completely at ease somehow, and was chattering away about things throughout the whole ride. Where as it seemed to take me a bit more huffing and puffing to get on. I put it down to the fact that I was given the bigger horse!

Why the girls clamour to ride the horses back to the field, or even at all, I will never know, some without even a saddle. I can see now why mum fell off, although to be fair to her she was thrown off. For the whole hour I clung on for dear life. There was no possibility of any kind of meaningful conversation as I was using all of my concentration just to stay on. I really felt like I was riding a jelly! I found no joy at all in the episode and will be sticking with tractors in future.

Peter enjoyed himself anyway so that was the main thing. I had a quiet word with him while they were taking the tack off the horses. He said he quite liked Elizabeth, she was the girl that was leading me round on the ride. She is actually quite pleasant although quiet. So I told him that if he came to help out next Saturday I would find him some little jobs to do with Elizabeth. I told him straight that there was to be no messing around and he was only with her to get to know her better and to be prepared for her not being interested in him.

"Just be nice to her and help her out with things when you can see she might need a hand. Don't go asking her to be your girl friend or anything like that. Get to know what she likes and be friendly and that's it."

I think he got the message, I guess we'll see. He said he would come over and seemed very keen on the idea.

I popped in to see Rob on the way home. He reckon's Norman is talking about moving house as he wants a single storey place where there are no steps so I don't know if he is still having trouble with his leg. I sure hope not, although thinking about it I haven't seen him on his bike lately. Before I left he went and got me two Leeks from the garden to take for mum.

When I got in mum was off to get dinner, we have fish and chips on a Saturday evening. I went over to her and gave her a big hug and said, "Tell me your problems mother dear as you now have a completely trouble free daughter!"

"Get away you daft devil, the day you're trouble free I'll be kicking you out of the house!" she said with a laugh.

Peter - The Fall Out.

 Sunday 6th April 2025

We got to the others gathered around the table to find them talking about the best place to get a take away. Not that they were planning on getting one. Peter's dad asked me if I was alright with everything now. I replied that everything was fine. That's when Peter decided to drop a bombshell, in fact he didn't stop at just the shell, he dropped the whole bomb! He announced with great glee that we were going on a horse riding date. I was thrilled that he was so excited about it and also that he didn't have any problems telling anyone, I wasn't so thrilled when I saw mum's face though. Her stare cut straight through me. I realised I had made a big mistake! I should have told him not to say anything until he got home so giving me time to break it to mum gently. I looked at dad for his reaction. I was relieved a little to see that he didn't seem bothered, in fact he just raised his eyebrows in a knowing manner, and even seemed to have a little smile on his face. Charlotte wouldn't even look at me. There only seemed to be Peters mum that showed some kind of pleasure from the news, saying that it was nice that we were getting along so well.

Normal service resumed after this and they stayed maybe another half hour. I tried to join in where I could but my heart wasn't really in it because of what I knew was to come.

When they went I followed mum in to the kitchen. I thought it best to get it over and done with. She went straight to the sink without saying anything or even looking at me.

“Look I'm sorry mum, I know it's not the outcome you wanted but it's only a one off thing and I think it's for a good reason.”

Dad walks in at this point.

“You knew what my wishes were and you chose to go against them Katlyn.” She said as she washed the pots.

“Please mum don't be like this, I didn't go against you, I would never do that. It's just something that's on going which I need to finish off in a good way.” 

“Yes something on going that you chose to keep from us in the first place.” Said mum. This hurt me a little. 

Dad felt it too because he then stepped in, “Come on Jan, this is not like you. You know Katie is mortified at the thought of doing anything to hurt us. We have to trust in her, She has a big heart that she can't just turn on and off when it suits her or anyone else. It's just Katie, it's the way she is and I for one don't want to see her any other way.” 

I loved dad for sticking up for me, I would have hugged him but I thought it might make mum feel alienated. Instead I went over to mum who hadn't responded to dad's comment. 

I put my arm around her shoulder, “Come on mum, I never meant to upset you. When I've got Saturday over that will be it, I promise, no more helpful Katie – well, except for helping you and dad.”

“Oh don't be so flippin' daft. Like your dad says' it's who you are and why we love you. Just remember that I need a bit of help sometimes though, I hate the feeling that you are going away from us.” 

I assured her that I had no intention of ever going anywhere, but promised I would try and be more thoughtful for her concerns, This is why I have been spending as much time with her as I can this past week. 

I also think I've upset charlotte somehow as well, I've not heard from her and I daren't call her to find out for fear of getting involved in something else that I can't be get in to. It pains me a little mind you.

When we were alone, snuggled up on the couch that evening I thanked dad for trusting in me.

“I will always stick up for my little girl, you make my heart sing, you really do.” He said before giving me a big hug.

Peter - The Solution.

Another post from Sunday 6th April 2025

After we had eaten all the cakes he surprised me a little by asking if that was it and could he leave. 

I'm not sure what else I was expecting.

“Have you had enough of me then?” I asked whilst giving a little laugh.

“No, you're nice, I just thought that was it after we eat the cakes.” He replied.

“You are free to leave if you wish, it wouldn't be a good look if this were a date though. It gives the impression that you aren't really interested in me.” I pointed out to him.

He got what I was saying and seemed pleased that I had pointed this out to him, although to be honest he shouldn't need it pointing out. But we weren't  on a date so I guess that makes a difference.

I asked him what Ysanne had said to him when she turned him down the first time. I was thinking that maybe she was already seeing someone, but I was wrong. It turns out he never asked her himself but got his sister to do it for him and apparently Ysanne laughed at the idea. So I can see why he was put off, but I can also see why she turned him down and I told him so.

We chatted a bit more, all the time trying to steer things towards teaching him ways to approach a girl he might like, and then just as we were collecting things up to take back to the house he surprised me by asking straight out if I would like to be his girl friend as he really liked me. The surprise being that he actually asked me, and not that he liked me. I realised then that I had talked myself in to a corner, because if I said no, then that would undo all my good work on him. But on the other hand I definitely didn't want to be his girl friend and all that involves.

Well, I couldn't lead him on could I, so said, “I appreciate the thought behind you asking me that, and your approach was okay for me, but I'm not looking for a boy friend at the moment.”

I could see and almost feel his disappointment, so I added, “Don't be upset, you did good, but it was just the wrong question for me and my situation at the moment. You might have been better asking if I would go on a date with you.”

With that his head lifted, “Would you?” He asked.

“Yes, as long as I get to choose when and where, you arrange and pay for it and get it clear in your head that it's just a one off date. There will be nothing after it.” Was my reply.

He was very happy to agree and asked what I would like to do. I have to confess now to being a tricky bitch because I had this idea in my mind that if I could get him to come to the stables where there was an over abundance of females, just about all within his age range, if nothing else he would get used to being around them and hopefully find one that he got on well enough to approach. Also there would be a good chance that I would be around to advice him if he should need it. Of course he might need some help as they are not the most approachable bunch as I've found to my own cost. However I'm hoping he will have more incentive so therefore be more willing to push his way in than I did. I only hope he behaves himself.

So, having put it off all this time I have agreed to go on a one hour horse ride this coming Saturday. He was a bit apprehensive about it until I told him I had never ridden either so it would be a first time for both of us. Of course we will simply be holding on, probably for dear life in my case, while being lead round by a couple of the girls. So there won't be any galloping off in to the sunset together, and I know it won't be private or anything but that is why I chose this sort of date. I didn't want him getting any of his fancy ideas, also I had to get it past mum. 

As we left the summerhouse to join the others he said, “I'm really sorry for what I did to you, and thank you for being so nice to me.”

“I hope you can find it in yourself to say the same to Charlotte as it was a really horrible thing for her, both looking through her phone and also violating her friends like that.”

He simply said “ Yes.” But had a deep thoughtful look about him.

Peter - The Meeting

6th April 2025

I sat in the summerhouse with both doors open, as part of the deal. Dad was keeping his part by parking himself by the garden table where he had a full view of me. I had brought with me my drink of orange juice and a plate of cakes that mum had kindly put out for us, and now I was waiting, and thinking, also a little nervous wondering how it would go.

My thoughts were soon eased when I saw Peter walking across the lawn after receiving directions from dad. He didn't look the sort of person who would be a threat. I sat and watched as everyone else came out of the house and gathered around the table with dad, even Charlotte was there, I thought she might be but I wasn't sure.

Peter's head dropped as he walked across the gravel to the doors of the summerhouse, I could feel his apprehension just by looking at him. As he walked in I immediately told him to sit on the couch. I was firm with him as I didn't want him muttering 'sorry' and then legging it back across the lawn to the others, all of whom were seated around the table now, dad a little to one side so he still had a clear view of me.

He did as he was ordered without argument so I eased off the throttle a little. I had to remember how grandfather got on my case and try to do it in an opposite manner. So I said he could put his drink on the table if he wished, also to take a cake when he wanted. He was actually a good looking boy, he and Charlotte could be twins as far as looks go as they were very similar in appearance.

“So, what do you have to tell me then?”

He looked at me, “I'm sorry; I shouldn't have done what I did.” 

“So why did you do it?” I asked in my kindest voice.

I could tell by now that he is a very shy boy, again, very much like his sister is. It seems he is desperate for a girl friend. apparently all his mates have girl friends but he doesn't. He said he wasn't bullied over it, just that he felt left out, also it makes him feel bad about himself because no girls like him.

“Believe me, there will be one girl at least that would like you, it's just that you haven't met each other yet.” I told him.

I didn't know if this were true or not as some people can go through life and never seem to meet the right person, well, not that one knows about. But I'd heard it said and thought it might help him in some way.

I then questioned him about why he did what he did. His reply was that he was just playing around with Charlotte's phone one day when he was board and when he guessed her pin number he started looking through it and eventually got to looking at her address book where he found the number of a French girl called Ysanne, who he recently asked to be his girl friend. So he then thought it was a good idea to send her some messages and as she replied he got more in to it and from what he says, they were getting along great. Of course, like me she thought she was talking to Charlotte.

Then one day at the stables he saw me when coming to pick up Charlotte and got to find out my name and so decided that as things were going so well for him with the other girl he would try the same thing on me.

However when Charlotte got her phone returned to her he had more difficulty for obvious reasons. He deleted the messages he send but he had no control over the ones that came back to Charlotte's phone so he tried to send messages when he knew he would have access to her phone for a length of time, such as during piano lessons. He realised now that he needed to move away from messaging as it was only a matter of time before his sister caught on to what was happening and so that was why he started inviting us to join him for whatever.

“So, I'm assuming that you thought we would overlook the fact that you had been lying to us then, not to mention the awful content in your messages?”

“It worked in a movie I once watched, they even ended up getting married.” Was his reply to this.

So that was basically the reasoning and how it all came about. I told him to get some cakes as I couldn't eat them all and that mum would be insulted if we returned any.

We eat cakes while I thought of my next step…

Peter - The Plan.

 Sunday 6th April 2025

I missed a phone call from Charlotte while I was away at Church this morning. It came in not long after my call to her. Anyway on returning the call I was asked if it would be alright for her parents to bring Peter over sometime today to see me and apologize for his bad behaviour towards me. I tried to insist that it wasn't necessary but she said it was something he needed to do. In the end I  relented but said that it would have to be in the afternoon as we spend time together as a family in the evening. So after she spoke to her mum, who was obviously right there with her, it was agreed that they would bring him over at four o'clock.

I'd made the call whilst lying on my bed, in between changing out of my church clothes and deciding what to change in to for the rest of the day. I guess now that they are coming over later I had better wear something presentable. So anyway, after the call was finished I continued lying there pondering the point of an apology, like what would it achieve apart from embarrassing me and humiliating him. Plus wasting everyone's time traveling out here, which is no small amount. I think my heart and brain keep on making love or something because before you know it there is another idea being born. I got to thinking that maybe if there was no point perhaps I should/could make one. After what I went through in a similar situation with my mum, and all the time's I've condemned her for reacting to it the way she did, how can I now subject him to five minutes of misery for no other reason than to humiliate him, that will solve nothing. So I somewhat felt that because of this, the onus was on me to find a better way of handling it.

So after deciding that evading my responsibilities by sending him to my grandfather to deal with was not an option, and so with half a plan in my head, I got dressed and went downstairs to help mum get Sunday lunch ready, completing the rest of my plan while laying the table and doing various other tasks. Before we all got up after lunch I broke the news to mum and dad adding that rather than just exchanging pointless words, and as it was such a nice day I would like to take him on to the river bank and discuss the matter further while enjoying a little picnic.

Remember now that 'Katie' is a super sweet girl to be proud of. 'Kate' is a nice enough girl and 'Katlyn' is one step away from a 'Young Madam', you'll understand that this next bit didn't go down very well.

"Katlyn! What did I tell you just two hours ago?"

"I know mum, but I just want to finish this off properly."

"The only thing likely to be getting finished off if you go up on the river bank with him is you." She said very firmly.

I went quiet at this point. I think they probably thought I was sulking about it or something but I wasn't. It was simply my brain and heart making love again, as I could tell that idea was now more dead than mum was worried I might be should I carry on with it.

Dad hadn't said anything about it until this point, "If you really feel the need to take this approach why not just go to the summerhouse together instead? You can be private there but at the same time we can keep an eye on you, we'll all sit out and have tea in the garden as it's a nice day - while you sort the little bugger out!"

Mum rolled her eyes - don't let grand father catch you doing that 'Old Madam'!! I thought to myself

"I don't know who's worse, her for thinking up this rubbish or you for encouraging her." Mum scolded.

"Well you keep both those doors open." She said addressing me, "and you can make sure you're sat there where you can keep an eye on them both." ALL the time She said very sternly to dad.

So that was that. Sunday afternoon was spent preparing for their arrival.

Easter Deco.

 As Easter is approaching mum decided to put up some decorations, a bit like Christmas but obviously not the same decorations. Instead of snowmen and Santa's we had rabbits and eggs. Also apparently there aren't as many decorations up for Easter as for Christmas time.

For me the main feature was what mum calls the Easter egg tree. It's some sort of curly sticks, around sixty centimetre's in length, stood in a vase and off these we hung colourfully decorated eggs. On the side board, around the base of the tree we placed some china toadstools, a rabbit and more of the coloured eggs. Also a few cards from Easter's past. This reminded me that I will need to get a card for mum and dad, and I should think an Easter egg too. This is something else I have never done before.

I just spent all day in the house with mum doing stuff and talking. At one point she did comment about last Sunday and the results from it, saying how she didn't mean to be overbearing but worried about me always taking on other peoples problems. I didn't really want to bring it all up again so just said I was okay about it and understood that she was only thinking of me, and that means the world to me that I have some one who cares for me.

I'm not really thinking about last Sunday anymore as that's gone. My thoughts now are mainly on managing the consequences of it. I'm not worried about anything untoward happening to me, just that Saturday is simply a one time event and then that's it.

Special Changes.

 Because my driving lessons are on a Monday morning I've been missing out on doing the house work with mum as that is the day when she normally does it. This bit might sound strange to a lot of people, but because I can't really go changing my day for driving lessons I suggested that for the time being mum should change her housekeeping day to a Tuesday so that I can help her. I know she enjoys it more when we do it together and also some of the jobs like the vacuuming doesn't do her back any good. Anyway she agreed to it and so this morning we were back to doing housework together again. So that was good for mum and also good for me in respect to putting something back to the way it was at the beginning.

This afternoon, instead of afternoon tea in the summerhouse me and mum went in to the village where there is a tea rooms run on behalf of the local estate. It's a bit expensive but very nice and as it's only a special treat it's okay to spoil ourselves once in a while, or at least that's what mum says. I just feel like I'm getting treated to something special everyday whether it be tea in the summerhouse or the posh estate tearooms.

Worth The Effort?

 This morning I had another driving lesson. The only real problem today was some temporary traffic lights on the same bit of road that the tractor incident occurred the other week. This would have been no problem had they been working as they should but unfortunately my side was stuck on red. So we waited and waited until this girl pulled up along side and told me they weren't working and hadn't been for several days. Why do they dig holes and just leave them. Also the lane has very little traffic and the working area so small I wonder why it even needed lights anyway. After being told I just followed the girl through the red light. I used extreme caution as advised in one of the books I have.

I've been thinking a bit about the situation I implemented for myself yesterday. I still feel I did the right thing, but I just hope he accepts as greed that Saturday is just a one off thing and from then he has to fly solo so to speak. Anyway I intend to do a sperate post for yesterday giving a bit more detail..

The rest of today was spent with mum in the garden, not working, just sitting in the sunshine and talking, it was nice for us both and I think it helped to calm any, lets say feelings, between us after Sunday. Writing this makes me realise that little s--t is responsible for all this hassle, I just hope he's worth the effort that's all I can say.

Well And Truly Told Off!

 Between breakfast and setting off for church this morning I gave Charlotte a call to make sure she is alright. I thought a call would be better than a text so she could be sure she is talking to who she thinks she is if you know what I mean. She appreciated the call even though I couldn't stay long.

Church was good. I thought up this new thing last night in bed, which I put in to practice during the long winded sermon. You would think  the vicar would have realised by now that I'm only there for the attention and biscuits, and would get a move on!! Anyway, I was thinking that during the sermon it will be nice for me and mum to hold hands. It's all part of being a mummy's girl again.

Unfortunately being a mummy's girl didn't last very long, as soon after that I became a young madam! I guess it's in keeping with the theme of going back to the beginning again anyway.

We called in at the stables on the way home, and as I didn't want to get horse smell on my second best clothes I waited for mum in the car.

"Haven't you got something you want to say to me?" Mum asked as she climbed back in the car and closed the door behind her.

I've got more sense than to try and be coy or act stupid with mum. I'm not much good at acting either, besides I know mum well enough by now to sense a fast approaching, 'Young Madam' moment! I obviously knew to what she was referring. I'm assuming Lyn had said something about yesterday. I also know her well enough to know what her reply was to my answer before I even gave it.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to bother you with it. It was all pretty nasty and thought it would upset you." I replied.

It was only then that I realised that even if Lyn had said something to mum, she didn't actually know what it was about as Lyn didn't know either. Oh well, at least I suppose it stopped me digging myself in to a deeper hole, and besides, it's always best to tell the truth once you're found out. So I explained.

"Katlyn," she exclaimed.

That's one step away from a 'Young Madam', in mum speak, in case you didn't know.

"Katlyn, how many times have me and your dad told you? You're not on your own anymore. It's our job to be bothered about that sort of thing. It's for us to sort out, not you. You're a young girl, and you need to be enjoying your life and nothing else." She said.

Then went on to say, "You worry about all the world and his wife down this flippin' lane. You spend all your spare time, and some, with your head buried in those driving books just so you can spend all your time driving round in circles on that bloomin' tractor of yours. the only time you seem to settle is cuddled up to your dad - and then you fall asleep. You need to calm yourself down a bit young madam!"

Now I can consider myself well and truly told off! I did want to point out that I was enjoying myself when going round in circles on the tractor but I just wanted her to get going because the last thing I needed now was for Rob to show up and let on that he already knew about it. Although he is under strict instructions not to say anything. But mum seemingly has a special ability in being able to bypass such instructions, even the ones I make myself promise.

I'm not mad with mum or anything, she just wants to be a mum and that's what I want her to be. We all need some fun in our lives.

Anyway, that was that. She did tell dad when we got back but he just laughed, put his arm around me and said, "That's my girl, I don't know, what're you like?" Mum looked at him sideways but didn't say anything.

A Sneaky Little Git!

 On a Saturday I eat my breakfast by myself as I have to get off to the stables. So this day I have porridge with some berries and honey and eat it while mum is there preparing breakfast for her and dad, and also Eric if he is at work. I tried to be normal today even though I had things on my mind. I don't know if mum picked up on something or more likely she was thinking of all the things I have going on at the moment. But as I was leaving she handed me the bag with my lunch in it and we hugged as we always do when parting. 

However this time she hung on to me a while and said, "You're only seventeen, don't go taking on the whole world just yet Katie. I want you to be my little girl a while longer, we still have a lot of catching up to do." 

I contemplated what she had said on my walk down the lane. It's something that's been bothering me for a while now, because the more things I take on the further it seems to take me away from mum and dad. I guess it's the same reason that I came home with dad on the tractor last night. I don't want to lose the times that I had when first coming here. I don't want everything to just become normal and matter of fact. I must do as mum says and try to pull back a bit this next week. Try to be simply mummy and daddies little girl again.

Now though I had to think about what was probably about to happen as I had reached the gates to the farm where we have the stables. I was in good time so I decided to wait awhile even though I wasn't sure if Charlotte was even coming this week. Normally I would say that it was better if she didn't come as it always means trouble for me somehow. But this week I needed to get things sorted for my own peace of mind. I know nothing would get sorted until we spoke properly.

I didn't have to wait long before I saw her car coming down the lane. Her dad was driving this week, I said hello to them both before walking off down the drive with Charlotte. It didn't feel quite like normal but that could just be me. I asked if we could speak sometime before she went home tonight, she didn't ask why, so I took that to mean that she didn't need to ask so I was sort of pleased about that as it meant she had an idea why and so wasn't trying to pretend about it being anything other.

I didn't get to see her again to talk until lunch time. She was in the stable before me today as I was with Lyn taking a lesson. At first I thought Lyn was going to join us for lunch, but thankfully she went off talking to someone about lessons.

At this point I have written, and was going to publish a more detailed account of our conversation. But on reflection I have decided not to publish it at the moment as I don't feel right about doing so, it all feels a bit raw and personal at the moment. I know you don't know Charlotte and she will never read this but what's happened to her is not very nice and so I'm sure she wouldn't like me broadcasting all the finer details. So it's just a respect thing really. I am going to save what I have written though, with a view to publishing it separately at a later date when I know better what the outcome is and if it feels better to do so.

However don't worry, I'm not so cruel as to leave you in the dark. If you can remember from a while back, I told you how Charlotte's parents had confiscated all of her photographic equipment, which included her phone because of it's camera. Although having seen how basic her phone is, I shouldn't imagine the camera on it was something that would meet photographic society standards should she have decided to disobey her parents ban on such activities. Anyway, the thing is, that while it was supposedly in their safe keeping, Charlotte's younger brother got his hands on it and managed to hack the pin number to unlock it. From what she said, he didn't do anything to technical, it was just a case of a weak pin number and teaching a monkey to use a typewriter. Since then it would seem he has been using any opportunity he could get his hands on it to send messages, not only to me but also to other friends of Charlotte's that he took a particular fancy too. He finally ran out of talent when one of the girls agreed to meet him, which meant he had to come clean with her in the hope she would overlook the fact that it wasn't really Charlotte. It doesn't sound like she was too impressed and reported him to his parents so now he's the one in big trouble.

I so knew it wasn't Charlotte and I'm so glad I gave her this chance, The trouble is she tells me that he will be made to apologise to me as he has with any of the others that he has upset. I said not to bother as I don't want him coming to the farm and upsetting mum and dad. It's best forgotten as far as I'm concerned as it seems as though his parents have taken him to task over it. I know just the place for him, but that would just make me the same as my birth mother wouldn't it.

A Ride Down Memory Lane.

 I've been finishing off the rolling at Uncle ken's today. It's been a good day. The job went well, the weather was nice again, and I was on my tractor. Perfect!

Mum brought dad up to take the tractor and roller back at around five, and we all stayed for a BBQ in Uncle Ken's garden. I decided to ride back on the tractor with dad. I just fancied riding with him as I had recently been thinking about that first time I went on the tractor with him, and how he let me drive it. It was such a thrill for me, the whole day was a thrill. Especially after the mess I made of holding the gate open for Eric! So I just wanted to sort of revisit the time. There was a nice moment when we got on to our lane. He commented on how nice I had my tractor and not to be put off by Eric as he was only joking with me. I assured him that I wasn't and he then said how proud he is of me, then took my hand and held it all the way back home. We didn't say anything else, there was no need.

Rolling is not a demanding job so there is plenty of time to think about things. I know I'm probably being stupid now but I got to thinking about Charlotte and I remembered when she first came to the stables and how pleased I was that she befriended me rather than going off with the other girls, I was so thrilled. So it pains me that I have just turned my back on her. Reading her last message it's clear to see that she still sees me as a friend, and doesn't even seem to realise that she has done anything wrong. 

So, I've decided that if she does come to the stables tomorrow I'm at least going to explain to her face that whilst I don't want all that sex stuff I do still enjoy having her as a friend. I can't say what I'm going to do after that as I can't second guess what her reaction will be. I'm hoping she will accept that. If maybe she has some kind of a problem, which I feel sure she must have because I feel absolutely sure that sort of thing is not her real character - it just can't be. But if she does own up to having a problem then I will offer to help her with it, like proper friends we will sort it out together.

If I just cut her off because of the sex talk then I am little better than my birth mother. I needed a friend after I was caught with Dave but nobody stepped up for me, and I still remember how that felt. She needs a friend right now, not someone who dumps her because they got offended by something they saw.

Boudoir Or Library?

 Today I have been up to Uncles Ken's doing some rolling for him. Dad got Eric to take my tractor with the rollers over there after he finished his breakfast, and after helping mum clear away me and dad went over there as well and dad brought him back after dropping me off. I will be glad when I have passed my driving test then I can just go over there without having to bother anyone. Not that they were bothered about all the running about as they were pleased that I was going to be doing the job so they didn't have too.

Me and dad got there first and was talking to Uncle Ken when Eric arrived. After packing up he got off my tractor and told everyone to go over and take a look in the cab. I knew what he was going  on about before he even said anything. 

"It needs a shovel full of cow muck in here if you've got some handy Ken! I can't decide if it's a boudoir or a library!" he said.

He was referring to the fact that everything was nice and clean, and I had some scented air fresheners hanging up. Also, because rolling is not very intensive with regard to concentration I have been doing lots of revising for my driving test, so I have all my driving test books in the cab. Uncle Ken and Eric were pulling my leg, which I don't mind as it's all in good humour. Dad patted me on the back and said, " take no notice love, you're doing a great job."

I worked until almost six o'clock and then had some dinner with Uncle Ken before he brought me back home. As soon as I got changed and what have you I went down and snuggled up with dad as usual and fell straight to sleep!!

That's That Then.

 I've finally had to sort Charlotte out, or at least I think I have, it will be interesting to see how Saturday goes though.

After the little exchange of messages on Sunday evening basically asking how each other was, I didn't hear from her again until Monday evening. Then I got another message along similar lines to the very, lets say suggestive one from last week. Although it was written a lot better. It started off with how hot I looked on Saturday when she saw me, before going on to inviting me over to her place, and it definitely wasn't for dinner either, that's all I'm going to inflict upon you about that. I just ignored the message.

Then yesterday evening I just kept on getting one message after another, each one was simply a '?'.

In the end I just had to message back and say that I was too busy sorting out my future at the moment to get involved in a relationship with her or anyone else. So please stop sending me messages.

Her reply was nice enough, too nice really as now I feel bad, 'Ok, that makes me sad because I really like you, I though you wanted a friend'.

I do feel really bad, like I should say more, or maybe help her somehow as to my mind she has some sort of a problem. But I fear that may just end up giving her some kind of false hope for the future. It's best just ended I suppose.

Today I am going rolling again in all the fields that dad has sown with Spring Barley. Dad and Eric think that it's a boring job but I like it so that makes everyone here happy. Perhaps not so much mum as she misses out on our afternoon tea together.