I'm not really in a good place at the moment, also yesterday was a holiday here in the UK so dad decided to take us to the seaside, which was good of him, but it was to cold to be really enjoyable. Normally it would still probably have been enjoyable as I used to find enjoyment in most things, but as I say I have this thing hanging over me at the moment.
I know it's something to do with that sheep situation but I don't know what or why. I think I might have that thing where when a mother has her baby she doesn't want to know it! Is that possible?
To be honest, and you will probably thing I sound stupid now, and probably am. I feel like I was raped in that barn. I've never been raped, and most certainly wouldn't want to belittle the experience for anyone who has, but I imagine I would feel like I do at the moment. I had something forced up on me that I neither expected or was ready for. Worst of all dad was part of it.
I had no interest in the lamb once it was out. They were all praising me and stuff, and normally I would be lapping it all up and wanting more but all I wanted to do was get out of there. Mum even commented going home, that I was quiet. I just said that I was tired, which I was after all the exertion, but it was more than that. I hope I get my old feeling back as I don't like this one, it's to much like Scotland.
I'm sorry about this.
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