I Was Being Pathetic.

 When me and mum were in the summerhouse having our afternoon cup of tea and biscuits, following the day spend doing house work. She said was I going to tell her what was the matter or did she have to guess. I thought that seeing as how she was asking, and knowing mum, would carry on asking, there was not much point in pretending any longer. I couldn't really explain the feelings I was having as I didn't really know myself what they were exactly. I told her that it was the sheep situation, and how it came about that had upset me. She was surprised saying that I'd done a good job and that everyone was very impressed with how I got stuck in. I pointed out that, what I did or the outcome wasn't the problem. It was how it came about and the fact that the whole thing was truly awful and I wasn't even given a choice.

Once again she expressed surprise saying that whenever something needed sorting, I was usually pushing everyone out of the way and jumping in with both feet.

"What was so different this time?"

"I wasn't expecting it for one thing, blood makes me want to throw up, I had on my good clothes and I was forced in to it, and dad didn't even stop them!"

I was loathed to bring up the last bit, but I did as it was part of the problem.

"Katie dear, your dad or Uncle ken would never make you do something if you didn't want to. They would just be assuming that the way you are with things you would relish the opportunity. Really you should take it as a compliment that Ken even let you do it, as he is very precious about his sheep. If he had the slightest thought that you were going to mess the job up he wouldn't have let you near the sheep."

I didn't know what to say really as it was just what others had said to me about it. I just thought it best that I resign myself to the fact that I was being pathetic and just get on with it.