I woke this morning with an underlying dread coursing through my veins, it seems to be the way I wake up most mornings to be honest. I knew this morning there was going to be some sort of retribution to be faced for me attitude last night when going to bed.
Because of the above mentioned I was surprised when after breakfast I passed the inspection of my person appearance. You'd think that was a good thing but you soon learn that it just means there is something more substantial awaiting you down the line. This day I didn't get much further down that line because during the inspection of my naughty (step)book he took it from me rather than giving it the normal quick glance over, and wrote something down on the page for today before handing it back to me still open on the said page. He didn't speak but I took it that it was intended for me to read the entry he just made.
Under the heading, 'Note A Failure, under achievement or reprimand.'
He'd written, 'I have a problem with regard to disappointment where by I become over excitable, aggressive and insolent.
In the follow up section under, ' 'How Can I Rectify The Above?'
He wrote, 'Ask grand father to subject me to random acts of disappointment until he feels I have rectified all of the above problems that continually inflict me'.
On reading this I was literally seething inside. I waited to be dismissed, staring directly at the wall in front of me.
It was hard to concentrate on anything for the rest of the day. No doubt some would say just to do it and get it over with. but they would be missing the bigger picture, which is psychological domination. I know that he's going to do what he's going to do with or without my permission in his so called quest to improve my character. If I give in it would show I have a weak character therefore I would need more of the same to build it up. If I defy him it means I need more of he same in order to crack me, so find my limit.
This afternoon he has had me cleaning our staircase from top to bottom.
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