A Ride Down Memory Lane.

 I've been finishing off the rolling at Uncle ken's today. It's been a good day. The job went well, the weather was nice again, and I was on my tractor. Perfect!

Mum brought dad up to take the tractor and roller back at around five, and we all stayed for a BBQ in Uncle Ken's garden. I decided to ride back on the tractor with dad. I just fancied riding with him as I had recently been thinking about that first time I went on the tractor with him, and how he let me drive it. It was such a thrill for me, the whole day was a thrill. Especially after the mess I made of holding the gate open for Eric! So I just wanted to sort of revisit the time. There was a nice moment when we got on to our lane. He commented on how nice I had my tractor and not to be put off by Eric as he was only joking with me. I assured him that I wasn't and he then said how proud he is of me, then took my hand and held it all the way back home. We didn't say anything else, there was no need.

Rolling is not a demanding job so there is plenty of time to think about things. I know I'm probably being stupid now but I got to thinking about Charlotte and I remembered when she first came to the stables and how pleased I was that she befriended me rather than going off with the other girls, I was so thrilled. So it pains me that I have just turned my back on her. Reading her last message it's clear to see that she still sees me as a friend, and doesn't even seem to realise that she has done anything wrong. 

So, I've decided that if she does come to the stables tomorrow I'm at least going to explain to her face that whilst I don't want all that sex stuff I do still enjoy having her as a friend. I can't say what I'm going to do after that as I can't second guess what her reaction will be. I'm hoping she will accept that. If maybe she has some kind of a problem, which I feel sure she must have because I feel absolutely sure that sort of thing is not her real character - it just can't be. But if she does own up to having a problem then I will offer to help her with it, like proper friends we will sort it out together.

If I just cut her off because of the sex talk then I am little better than my birth mother. I needed a friend after I was caught with Dave but nobody stepped up for me, and I still remember how that felt. She needs a friend right now, not someone who dumps her because they got offended by something they saw.

Boudoir Or Library?

 Today I have been up to Uncles Ken's doing some rolling for him. Dad got Eric to take my tractor with the rollers over there after he finished his breakfast, and after helping mum clear away me and dad went over there as well and dad brought him back after dropping me off. I will be glad when I have passed my driving test then I can just go over there without having to bother anyone. Not that they were bothered about all the running about as they were pleased that I was going to be doing the job so they didn't have too.

Me and dad got there first and was talking to Uncle Ken when Eric arrived. After packing up he got off my tractor and told everyone to go over and take a look in the cab. I knew what he was going  on about before he even said anything. 

"It needs a shovel full of cow muck in here if you've got some handy Ken! I can't decide if it's a boudoir or a library!" he said.

He was referring to the fact that everything was nice and clean, and I had some scented air fresheners hanging up. Also, because rolling is not very intensive with regard to concentration I have been doing lots of revising for my driving test, so I have all my driving test books in the cab. Uncle Ken and Eric were pulling my leg, which I don't mind as it's all in good humour. Dad patted me on the back and said, " take no notice love, you're doing a great job."

I worked until almost six o'clock and then had some dinner with Uncle Ken before he brought me back home. As soon as I got changed and what have you I went down and snuggled up with dad as usual and fell straight to sleep!!

That's That Then.

 I've finally had to sort Charlotte out, or at least I think I have, it will be interesting to see how Saturday goes though.

After the little exchange of messages on Sunday evening basically asking how each other was, I didn't hear from her again until Monday evening. Then I got another message along similar lines to the very, lets say suggestive one from last week. Although it was written a lot better. It started off with how hot I looked on Saturday when she saw me, before going on to inviting me over to her place, and it definitely wasn't for dinner either, that's all I'm going to inflict upon you about that. I just ignored the message.

Then yesterday evening I just kept on getting one message after another, each one was simply a '?'.

In the end I just had to message back and say that I was too busy sorting out my future at the moment to get involved in a relationship with her or anyone else. So please stop sending me messages.

Her reply was nice enough, too nice really as now I feel bad, 'Ok, that makes me sad because I really like you, I though you wanted a friend'.

I do feel really bad, like I should say more, or maybe help her somehow as to my mind she has some sort of a problem. But I fear that may just end up giving her some kind of false hope for the future. It's best just ended I suppose.

Today I am going rolling again in all the fields that dad has sown with Spring Barley. Dad and Eric think that it's a boring job but I like it so that makes everyone here happy. Perhaps not so much mum as she misses out on our afternoon tea together.

Deja vu Driving Lesson.

 Good evening,

Today I had another driving lesson. We had a sort of a deja vu moment up on entering the village. As with last week, just as we got to the straight bit of road that leads in to the village we came upon a tractor and trailer, a different one to last week. 

Dorothy, my instructor was funny because as soon as she saw it she asked, "So tell me, what's it going to do this week?" 

If you don't know to what I am referring you need to go back to my entry on the 25th titled 'Hazard Perception & avoidance'.

I played along and told her that he wasn't planning any challenges this week. We both arrived at the junction together which was how I'd planned it last week until he started doing his maneuvers. We were both turning left along the high street. I was thinking that I was probably going to have the challenge of overtaking him once out of the village. However more or less as soon as he got on to the high street he turned off right and disappeared down a side street. 

Then just after a few hundred meters, as we were coming up to the Co-op, I saw to my left a big white van speeding down the drive from the car park behind the shop, his speed concerned me so I took my foot off the accelerator, and it's a good thing I did too because by the time he saw me and came to a stop he had not only cross the pedestrian pavement but was a quarter of the way across my lane. There was still enough room for me to pass so I went around him and carried on my way.

Dorothy, as with last week complimented me by saying afterwards, "I must say that your observations around you and how you react to them are quite impressive. I don't know whether he would have run in to the side of us or not but because of your observations the way you reacted you made sure he didn't. Well done." So once again I carried out the lesson feeling dead chuffed with myself.

Because of what happened with the van and there was no one behind us, Dorothy stopped me at one of the road junctions we came to and pointed out the mistakes both the van driver and the tractor driver from last week made. She said that the van driver was checking the road from too far back from the junction and because we were close to the entrance didn't even see us until he was about to pull out on to the road because basically he was being to lazy to stop and look properly when he got to the entrance. The tractor driver just didn't look both ways. He cleared the lane one way for which he was about to be traveling on but didn't check what was coming the other way, especially as that thing he had on the front was going to encroach on to the other lane as well.

When I come to a junction I have to clear it of pedestrians, cycles, motor cycles and cars etc. coming from the right. Be aware that cycles and motor cycles often travel closer to the edge of the road and can be easily over looked in haste. Also I must check to my left as well, don't assume the lane to be clear as the tractor driver did. Someone could for instance be overtaking a car coming that way in which case the lane could be very blocked. 

Dorothy said that Giveway signs should only be place on slip roads to motorways etc, as they encourage people to be careless, and all other roads junctions should have stop signs in her opinion.

So that was a good lesson for me to learn. I also had a drive around town which went well. No speeding or anything. 

Mothers Day - she's Worth It.

 The mothers day lunch went very well, and thankfully I didn't to do the washing up in order to pay for it, although there wasn't much change out of Uncle kens fertiliser money. I think it was mum's triple ice cream dessert that nearly broke the bank. It's a good thing she's worth it.

This was the first time we had all been out together on such a date since I came back to the farm with them and it was nice for both me and mum, and dad as well of course. I also enjoyed driving them both, it sort of made me feel adult if that makes sense. I can't grow up to quickly though as mum and dad still have lots of catching up to do.

For dinner tonight I just made us all some cheese and crackers seen as how we had not long since finished a good sized lunch. Instead of spending all night sitting with my dad I spent some time sitting on the floor in front of mum and rubbed her feet for her as she likes that. I don't do it for too long though as it's not at all comfortable for me after a while.

Also tonight I got another weird message from Charlotte. Well, I suppose for her messaging standards it wasn't to bad, just strange as all it said was , "Hi."

She sent it around eight but I didn't see it until supper time as my phone was in my room. I wouldn't have relied straight away anyway as I didn't want her spoiling what has been a nice day. I did reply in the end though, just out of politeness. I simply said hello and asked how she was, but as yet haven't had a reply. I'm not going to be losing any sleep over it that's for sure.

Mothers Day - Breakfast.

 At breakfast I presented mum with a card and a present. The card is a first mothers day card, obviously meant to be given from a baby rather than someone my age, but she knew why I chose it and thought it was nice, saying how she will keep it forever to remind her of the day she thought she would never have. Her present was just a simple bird nesting box that she was looking at one time when we were out. She was thrilled with both the present and said that I always surprise her. She didn't even think I was taking any notice when she was looking the nest box over in the garden center.

Breakfast went well, no burnt sausages or anything, although I had to tell mum off, because when she got up to leave the table she started clearing the things away. She stopped and laughed though when I asked dad if he could go to the barn and fetch me a piece of rope. She had remembered what I had said earlier about tying her hands up if she attempted to do anything today.

I got dressed up really nice for church, putting on makeup  and the lovely red dress mum and dad bought me for my adoption party with Irene that night. Even dad commented on how nice I looked and went as far as to say he wished he was coming to church with us just so he could feel proud be with two such beauties.

Because mum is barred from doing anything all day I put my learner plates on her car so that I was able to drive us both to church. She hasn't been in the car with me as a passenger for a while and commented how I had come on so well, adding that it was like being driven by a normal driver - whatever one of those is like!

I held mums hand as we walked down the path and in to church. She said I didn't need to go that far, "Of course I do, you're my mum and I love you."

Afterwards, when we were enjoying tea and biscuits mum was positively glowing with pride as everyone was saying how they liked my dress and how beautiful I looked. As always I got my Victoria sponge cake from Annette and extra biscuits from Moss.

Now we are just waiting for dad to finish getting ready as I am taking them both out to their favourite restaurant where they went the night dad proposed to mum. I already reserved a table and I am paying for everything with the money Uncle ken gave me for spreading the fertiliser for him the other week. I also have some more that dad put in when he opened my account should I need it. I will have to be having a quiet word with them about a pay rise if it all amounts to more than that!

Mothers Day - Tea In Bed.

 This morning is not just mothers day for me and my mum, but the first ever mothers day together, and what an awesome mum she is too.

I got up extra early so as to make two cups of tea and take them up to mum to enjoy in bed. I love to get in bed with mum on a morning, and just spend time chatting and being together without any distractions. This morning though felt even more special.

After drinking the tea we got back down under the covers. I made sure that all we talked about were the  good things that mum had done for me since we met. Ha ha - I'm not only becoming a bossy bitch, but also a manipulating cow!! Anyway, like for instance, I thanked her first of all for making dad come out in the rain that first evening to check up on me after that nasty man in the blue van had a go at me. We both were in agreement that it was the best thing she has ever done. I didn't even get through half the list of things that I had in my head to thank her for before the alarm went off. At this point we usually both get up and get ready to go down to make breakfast together. This morning though I insisted she stayed in bed as I would be seeing to breakfast myself.

"I'm going to be with you all day today so you have no need to lift one single finger, and if you do I am going to be forced to tie your hands behind you back!" I told her in a light hearted manner.

So at this moment she is enjoying her first lie in for as long as she can remember.